Pickle Chicken

Pickle chicken will change your life. For the better. Probably. Maybe pickle chicken will turn you into a prostitute because you'll need money to buy pickles, I don't know. However, what I do know, is that pickle chicken will change. Your. Life.

You'll need:

Pickle juice

Chicken breasts

Spices

Flour mixture (I used a gluten free all purpose flour)

A few eggs with a little water or milk whisked in

Peanut oil

Tools you'll need:

Chicken smasher

Fryer

Zzzzzip!lock bags

Aluminum foil

Whisk

Tongs (one for raw chicken, one for cooked chicken)

First, you'll need to smash your chicken breasts within an inch of their lives (oops). What I do, because I don't mess around with chicken because it's gross, is line my counter with some aluminum foil, put two chicken breasts in each gallon ziplock bag and have one more open ziplock for the marinating. Also, I don't use the tenderizer part of the meat smasher, I just use the flat part with no pointiness because I don't wanna make holes in my bags.

I'm smashing!

Once you've achieved your desired thickness, transfer your smashed chicken into one ziplock all together. Then add pickle juice to cover. I also usually sprinkle some pepper in there too. Then roll up your bag to get the air out, BUT DON'T GET RAW CHICKENY PICKLE JUICE ON THE COUNTER BECAUSE, GROSS. GAH! 

Pickle bath.

The chickens hang out for about 30 minutes to an hour in the pickle juice bath. I leave them out on the counter (gasp!) for that time period and I've never done them longer than that so I don't know if you can make it ahead. I do turn the bag over every so often as I think of it. Anywho, once they've been in there long enough, make your breading station. I use the same aluminum foil to go under the two bowls, one with egg wash and one with flour. I spice up both bowls; the eggs just with pepper and salt, the flour with s&p, cayenne pepper, granulated garlic/onion, paprika and whatever else you'd like. 

Then the fun (gross) begins. Drip off your pickle juice and put your chicken in the egg mixture, then drip off the egg mixture and flour on both sides. Make a pile of breaded chicken on a plate to easily transfer to the fryer. Next, fry at 375'F for about 10ish minutes until chicken is a) cooked and b) nicely browned.

Oh, yeah, baby!

While you're frying a few at a time, you can put the cooked ones in a 200'F oven to keep them nicely toasty. Then you eat everything right up with green beans and mashed potatoes.

Yes.

Reasons It's Not Almost Thanksgiving

I *just* removed the skulls from my mantle display, I need a little more November before we settle into Thanksgiving.

I haven't been to WholeFoods to get the gluten free pie crusts. They're gonna be gone by the time I get there and I'm gonna cry. I haven't come up with a good recipe for pie crusts since two Thanksgivings ago when they were all out of pie crusts, but don't worry, I stocked up and oops I just used my last, year-old pie crust last weekend. I was test driving a pumpkin pie recipe. 

My brother('s wife) hasn't had the baby yet. This is more because I want to see the baby and squeeze it ASAP as possible.

We just had *the first* really cold day of fall. I need to just relax and enjoy the cold, please.

I HAVEN'T MADE A LIST OF THINGS I'M GOING TO COOK FOR THANKSGIVING! I need a list. I love a list. I need a doodle-filled list of yumtasticness.

Halloween candy still exists in my life.

I haven't bought a turkey and I don't want to go to the store and get one. There's *people* there at this time of year.

Our chest freezer keeps tripping on and off.

I don't wanna mess up my clean kitchen.

It doesn't *feel* like November.

What are your reasons for procrastinating about Thanksgiving? (Not that you would. You're probably all ready and stuff. Bitches.)

Something Like It

One's mine and one's my grandpa's. Aren't we so cute????

The man himself (high school grandpa)

Apparently, Katniss Everdeen

Hallo, hallo, ween.

Fall basket of dead things

SPIDER WEB!!! (don't worry, it's just my bracelet)

Hey

Movie night

Play all day

And then the sleeps

Fall is the best at food.

Squeeeeeeze

Wrist party!

I'm treading water to keep my head barely above water at work right now. I have a sad, sad song to sing and I'm not sure what I should really do about it. I've committed to ninety days here and that's what I'm doing. I don't know how/if it will change. I really, really, reallyreally want to love my job again. In related news, if you'd like to hire me to run a gluten-free diner, train your dog, teach you pet CPR/first aid/emergency preparedness, or just be generally awesome near you, please let me know and I'll be right over WITH GUSTO!

Welcome to Crazytown

First Day of Work Face

Labor Day

Masterclass: Relaxation by Dr. G. Pickles

Dr. G. Pickles

What do you use a bidet for?

Birthday Dinner

Chuck's baby feet. This makes me wanna die.

The family that naps together.

Fishtail. This takes me FOREVER to do, you?

Happiest Pants

Finally nail polish. (Essie, Stylenomics. It's much more blue-y/green-y)

Four months (17 weeks)

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Snuggletown, USA

It's been.... Stressful. I walk into work, start running, and run all day long. I feel like a crazy person. The good news is the doctor that's there right now, said I'm doing a good job. SO, um, yay. But the weird part is that when the doctor I'll actually work for get back, we're changing things. It's all very confusing and weird and limbo-y. The puppy comes to work with me now, so he's getting good exposure to being awesome. I can't believe he's almost 18 weeks old (this Friday). He's 5.2 pounds and just the cutest boy. He makes me laugh every day. It makes me so happy that Pants loves him too. The moment I get home, they launch themselves at each other and play until they crash. Chuck's not fully in love with the puppy, especially since I left them together while at Saturwork and the puppy diarrhead on the couch. He's being slowly won over because Pants loves Dr. Gumball Pickles so much.

So Then I Got a Puppy

Could you just die??? (10 weeks old)

He has been super fun over the past month. We went to Montana together, I couldn't take Pants cos Chuck wasn't coming with me and the puppy had to come because of obvious reasons, and we had a lot of fun times. He's a snuggly sleeper. He's been to the top of Big Mountain in Whitefish and all the shops around our house. He was a champion, super genius traveler.

And he played with the kitten and gave the kitten parasites.

Here's a video of the kitten and puppy battle. Man, that shit was cute. The kitten has now gone to his real home where he'll be treated like a prince and won't have to deal with a puppy eating his face off.

He couldn't decide if this gf pretzel was food. Verdict, NO!

When we got home, he and Pants immediately started playing and really haven't stopped since. I really love it. I wish we could all go swimming but the pool has been too cold with all the rain (!!!) we've gotten recently.

He loves everything Pants does and is.

Sleeping, like a boss.

How we do.

You guys know how weird I am about names for both Google's sake as well as dog safety. We decided on his secrety-secret real name but I need to figure out an internet name. It's also been suggested to use Gumball for his internet name. 

Names we went through:

Bean (Ender's Shadow)

Tyrion (motherfucking Lannister)

Mitch

Hank

Best Fwends

In other news, I had a weird, anonymous comment on my post about all the wisdoms I have and I am so warmly fuzzy about the replies from mah friends who commented back at her. I try to be as nice as I can about, well, everything so I hate that there was borderline nastiness encroaching from a meanie. I love yous guys. 

I told him the one about the guy. (13 weeks old)

In conclusion, my life has been a leeeeetle hectic lately. I quit my awful job of four years after my boss wanted me to work extra time for no extra monies and a lot of other things building up as well. I'm really, very proud of myself for finally lady nutting-up and quitting. It had turned into a daily cause of nausea and shitty feelings. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I took a leap of faith in myself and it only took a week to find another job. I start my new job on Monday. I have high hopes of it being totally awesome. I'd love to get that passion and support back in my life. The passion never left but it was buried under a shitton of negativity. All of my ideas were shot down and the subsequent bitching about everything wrong was a cyclical hell. I panic just thinking about it.

I'm heading into the new job with excitement and positivity. I hope that I'll be able to get that back. I totally KILLED my working interview (toot-toot), so I think they're excited as well. Watch out, new job, I'mma smash some shit all up.

More puppy pictures? Check out Tumblr.

Killing Wasps And Taking Pictures

Kindle in the pool? Are you crazy? Not any more! My mom bought me a DryPak and I love it for reading my Kindle in the pool. They're super cheap too.

So, I killed a wasp nest while drinking and wearing a bikini because I live in Texas.

Rag curls are my new favorite. So easy! I just did four big bunches, tied with strips of t-shirts and slept in them overnight. Chuck said, "I think it's cool you're pretty adventurous with your hair."

Pants+pool=love

Pants+kitten=hilarity

Cheese has blue eyes and murder in his heart.

Had to pick up Chuck's pants from the dry cleaners. His pants not Pants.

Roasted cauliflower and sea scallops. BOOM.

Sit in front of this pretty sky is what I said.

Scratchy don't sit, Scratchy gotta scratch.

It's funny cos it's true.

And finally, here's a link to a video of Pants humping the kitten. It will be the best two seconds of your life. I would've gotten more but Scratchy was trying to steal my lunch and I hit the button. :(