well, ladies (and possibly gentlemen. prove me wrong, gentlemen. prove. me. wrong.), the holiday season is about to come and violate our very beings. i mean, i'm no scrooge, but the holidays? ain't no pic-a-nic either.
thanksgiving. on my facebook,* i have some friends. some friends who are family. some friends who are school chums (unlikely). and a lot of worky friends and such. you know, such? anywho, one of those 7 friends is a friend from high school and she's like, super strength crazy. yowza. anywhoodle, she, among others, is doing this whole "i'm thankful for" schnitzle and it creeps me out.
that probably makes me a bad person.
everyone is entitled to their weird thankfulness, right? apparently, according to one, becky, they are not. she says things like, i'm thankful that jesus... something, something. and i'm all? jesus? jesus has a relationship with turkeys. JESUS HAS A RELATIONSHIP WITH EVERYTHING, BECKY! jesus made turkeys what they are today! jesus produced turkey's first big single. what were we talking about?
*ahem* so, we're staying "here" for thanksgiving and chuck's motha is up here to stay with her sister and then she's coming over to my house and we're all going to be HAPPY! godammit because, guess what chuck said? go ahead, guess. ... ... ... he said, "i'm nervous for your dad to meet my mom." let me splain, my father is a lunatic. and even though i am no fan of that man, the way it was said made me well up with tears. i was like, "IT'S NOT LIKE MY DAD'S SOME SORT OF WILD ANIMAL!!!!!!" *VERY CALMLY.* pause. the next part came in a very small voice, "i can't help that he's a lunatic."
family, can't live with 'em, can't stand to see another person taking liberties with their reputation. i love my family. i love them all. i was really looking forward to thanksgiving because all those fuckers would be here including chuck's mother. the whole family here. the whole family together. the whole family, whole.
as things often do, it kinda took a turn for the worse about a month ago. yup, my family fucked me over big time. and it hurt my feelings. and they really don't think they've done anything wrong. i know chuck's just nervous about my dad because he can be an asshole. and he can. hearing him say that, as if my family were something to be avoided hurt me as well. it's hard to know where to stand on the battlefield of family and new family. i would love to remain neutral. i would love for it all to go away. that's why i think we'll move to some sort of remote corner of the country only to be visited once or twice a year and we'll get into that whole, "oh, i wish you lived closer!" and then they'll leave.
this: chuck says two phrases that crack me up: "cue move?" and he says: "chout!" chucklation? can you move and watch out! and so i was making fun of him (a leeetle) and he said, "i feel sick!" and i said, "what are you talking about?" then he said, "i think i've been contaminated!" and i was like, "whaaaa?" and he said, "oh. i thought we were saying things the other person always says right now." and then i stabbed him in the eyeballs.
dogs. <-always on the thankful list. those bastards.
foooooood! i'm making an uncontaminated turkey on friday for the becky household. and it's gonna be neat. also? whole foods! booyah!
the nice crisp weather we're having. how 'bout it? right?
did i mention turkey? i love the turkey.
*i have a new facebook page for my alter-ego (that's me) called mlb. you should check it out because i have almost no friends on there, yet! so come make me feel special. or something?




