future

i'm having serious biological urges... serious. i think about babies all the time. i am considering attending a LLL meeting in my area, seriously considering it. i am on birth control for crying out loud! we are saving to get a house next year. in my mind, as soon as that happens, i get to have a baby. i don't know how this came about.

i have discussed with chuck about babies. i would like one or two, he would like two or three. we have not discussed when. and we are not married. we are not married. i think chuck is unsure of the wedding i want. he said, "i don't have anyone to stand up for me at the wedding." so i said, "that doesn't matter." i've never wanted anything big. never. i want to go to jamaica or montana. small and simple. our families. i have a few friends i would like to attend, but if it's not here, they might not be able to and i'm fine with that as well.

i know he feels his job isn't the best job. who's is? i know he thinks about my brother's wedding. i don't want that. i want simple and pretty and small. i'm not just saying that... i really think a small wedding would be prefect.