oh my land

dear me,

why has food become such a "thing" for you? why do you eat foods that you are allergic to? do you like having a constantly upset GI tract? is it fun? you love vegetables! you love all fruits! why are you putting toxic shit into your body?

i've started thinking about "the future." obviously. and what i want for my kids. what i would want for my fetus, if i had one. i know i would be a natural nazi. i know i would not drink caffeine. or eat processed foods. i know i would not be going to sonic for the route 44 diet coke. i know i would be breast feeding for a loooong time. i wouldn't feed another person this way and certainly not my own person. i feed my dogs the best food possible and i keep them at a good weight. i love them and i love future baby. why have i been falling down on me?

i have to take better care of myself. i don't want to be weird or preachy about it. i want to do what's best for me and future me and future baby. i've spiraled into tired, sad, moody becky. i want exuberant fun becky. i want becky who springs up in the morning. i want becky who doesn't care so much about food. i think about food too much right now. i don't know when that happened. i don't like it. and what's with thinking about blecky foods? why should anyone have a craving for diet coke? because it's bad and it's evil! and it works it's way into your brain. i'm glad i never got involved in cigarettes... i know i would be all up in the cigs if that had caught on in college. damn you, diet coke!

therefore i say to you, me. love what you are. do not abuse your body. feed it with good fresh foods that you love. stop falling prey to convenience and if you need something fast, make better choices. your body is your temple. ooommmmmmm.

love,
me