truth in fairytales

the new part of chuck's family equals scary and uncomfortable. his dad was very nice but very stressed-out, at all times. he was on red alert, dialed back to about orange at times, but mostly high red alert. his stepmother on the other hand, well i'll let you draw your own conclusions.

chuck said she would be nosey. chuck’s sister said she would be nice but try to extract any and all information from me to use for dastardly purposes. chuck’s mother said i should tell her (chuck’s stepmom) as much as I could how great her (chuck’s mom) cooking was every time i visited her in houston. i was scared.

(by the by, chuck’s mother said she liked me more every time we get together. and that he was lucky to have me! aaaww, i’m so awesome.)

i met the stepmother over christmas. as most of these highly anticipated meetings go, it wasn’t that bad. until later. then it was bad. very, very bad.

we were going back to the room (grandma’s) on the third day and i was hurrying for some reason. i had a glass in my hand and set it on the kitchen counter. chuck says, “did you put your cup in the dishwasher.” i said, “no.” and he gives me a look. so i say, “i’ll do it in a minute,” kind of quizzically and then proceeded to the bedroom.

he came in and sat next to me on the bed and says, “because barbara mentioned to me that you just put your dish in the sink yesterday.”

utterly mystified, i said, “what?”

“well, she was asking me about who does the cleaning when we’re at home and i told her that you do the cooking and kitchen cleaning and i vacuum and do the laundry. then she said 'you didn’t even put your dish in the dishwasher. not that she minds.'”

well, i pretty much fell apart. i just sat there. he said, “is something wrong?” after a few minutes. i think if he hadn’t said anything, i would have been able to keep it together and maybe move on. i was trying to anyway. but he said it and i started to cry. she makes her guests put their dishes in dishwasher? AND, AND, she’s calling me a slob? questioning my cleaning habits in my own home? what?

shocked, i was just shocked. i said, “you should stop telling me what she says while i’m not there.” earlier he told me she said that we looked like brother and sister. we both found that odd. at that point, i explained couples get that a lot and i've even read a scientific study that found people usually look for mates who look similar to themselves (should have known not to try to explain crazy things she says).

then the next night, christmas, chuck was acting a little off. i asked what was wrong when we were in bed. he said he felt like his stepmom was acting weird and mean to him. i asked, “different from last year?” “yeah.” so i said, “oh, then it’s me.” chuck innocently says, “yeah, but why would she treat me differently?” “you brought me here,” i said with a chuckle. boys are so innocent when it comes to the diabolical workings of some women’s minds.

we went to her family’s house for dinner on xmas eve. on the way back all she did was talk about her entire family. it was not nice, to say the least. one couple in particular, she zeroed in on, her niece had just gotten married to a “very goofy guy.” she said, "you know tiffany? the really goofy looking one that came in with that tall goofy guy a little late? you know, they were both really goofy?" i think goofy was code for something else. anyway, we said that we in fact knew who she was talking about (i could think of a few different ways to describe them... nice, wearing matching blue fleece christmas-y shirts, dark hair, glasses, etc). "see? that just proves that there's someone for everyone!" she said, very magnanimously.

i've said in my head a few times over the week we were there and now a few days past, "well at least i never have to go back if i don't want to." to make me feel better, you know? but the fact is i will. i'll have to see her again. she'll be at my wedding, she'll probably hold my babiesy, she'll judge my parenting skillz (ah, yeah). i know it's not that much to bear to see his dad and half brother, but it just kinda sucks a little. this poisonous woman has to be in my life. we have some common ground, (just like my dad's mom) dogs and cooking. we even brushed her dog's teeth while i was there. they have a schnauzer, just like dodger, only a little smaller and darker. he's a cutie and liked to hang out on my lap. barbara's explanation for this seemingly horrendous act was that, "he will sit with anyone on that chair. he really likes that chair."

ps picture=dahntahn pittsburgh (three rivers slash the point)

best dimple ever

can i just say, even though your boyfriend is probably great.... i have the best boyfriend ever (this is not a competition). i'm just saying. this is the cutest dimple in the known world. the cutest.

happy x(dot)mas everyone!

hope your day is filled with alcohol induced family memories (i know mine will). the ball above is from chuck's dad and step-mom's tree (so pretty).

i'm missing my family quite a lot. i'm nervous, sneezing (?), and homesick. i'm so glad i got to spend the holiday with chuck though. he's lurvely. best boyfriend ever! his family keeps asking when we'll get married. i just point at chuck. is that mean? i don't know.

anywhozzle, i'll let you know what happened later. everyone's in a post-present stupor at the mo (i think i use this word too much). also, read this post. i love you santa.

we didn't even get a white morning. sniff.

this is the fiber-optic tree that is cute and is on our counter at home (it's a wee magical tree).

ps 3:03pm i didn't even do that on purpose!

also? yes, i changed the picture... and... i miss my mommy!

respite

i know this isn't holiday related, but i don't feel very holiday-y at the mo... radio talk-shows. i, sadly, got very involved with dallas talk radio.

i blame this on my mother. she always had NPR on, in like, not even exaggerating, every single room of the house, all day, the entire time i was growing up. i go a little crazy without some sort of background talk. sometimes music works, i listen to books on tape while painting, sometimes i have the tv on just for the noise while cleaning/cooking, but there is always somebody talking. it makes me a little edgy if there's not, i feel like i need to be using my scant time on the planet doing something more than just one thing. except when i'm reading or sleeping, then i prefer absolute silence (save for the lullaby of chuck snores).

so, i was first introduced to dallas talk radio and one show in particular by my co-worker during a stage when i had come to the conclusion that she was, in fact, the bees knees (whatever that means). this show involved a couple-a, texan to the core, guys sitting around talking about nothing smattered with stories of his cute dog and how he loved dogs and also cared about police and firemen. what's not to like? i listened for like, years, long after my co-worker's shiny exterior had become dull and grey. i really liked him, despite all the horrible things he would sometimes say.

this year he had some trouble involving his fiance. i was skeptical at first. i looked around on the internet and found the police report. i stopped listening. i could not listen without thinking about the incident, i tried to listen, but i failed. it really put a damper on my day. i had to haul out the old ipod and fm transmitter (can't be like some people and have satellite).

i looked him up today because he was recently "let go," his station changed formats or something, and the internet said he is going to trial. i have a moment of doubt about the whole thing. is this because he's not guilty? is it because he has a really great lawyer? is it because of the steroids and he can't let it go? who knows? i'll await the outcome and his future plans, if any, but i don't know if i'll listen.

ps that book... i didn't like the ending at all! i'm still thinking about it as i drift from awake to sleep and it's annoying me a bunch. i never know if this is the sign of a bad book or a good book. i mean i know a bad book from a good book, but... sometimes it's a fine line.

over the river?

we made it (hopefully) and are in the north. it's much colder here and the natives' customs are strange to me. i'm just joshin' ya... i was born in philly! this is my hood (3 months in philly qualifies, right?).

i will let you know how the whole meeting scary people goes. we are getting on our next flight in a mo. excited but scared at the same time. eeeeh! oh, i forgot to tell you, we will be staying in chuck's dead grandmother's bedroom. even more scary. he claims there will be no christmas sexy-time (i think he's bluffing, after all, isn't that what christmas is all about?) because we'll be in said room (his dear, late grandmother, who incidentally used to say "oh my land," which i find quite hilarious).

tell me if you think this is weird, chuck's father gave his sister his grandmother's ring (how confusing was that). and now she wears her engagement ring and wedding ring on her left (obviously) and chuck's grandmother's engagement ring and wedding ring on her right. it looks weird. furthermore, isn't that ring supposed to go to chuck so he can give it to me? um, hello! she already has one!

so, right before we left i went on a crazy shop-y spree... it was awful, considering i've worn nothing but scrubs and three-year-old jeans for oh about three years. however, i am really excited about the whole thing. i might get carried away, sadly. i will try to wait until january when everyone magically looses 15 million pounds all at the same time. fingers crossed.

and off we go. i love my ipod and this book is really great for travel (fyi), gripping!

the world is against me

ok, so we are supposed to be driving to houston to drop off matilda. i was supposed to be making scones, cleaning, wrapping presents, cleaning, doing laundry, and packing yesterday. but somehow, because santa hates me, i hurt my back. if i am standing it is in a hunched position. then! my back goes into to spasms and i have to lay down and put my feet in the air until it stops, repeat. holy crappers will i never catch a break? and now i'm at work and i can't go see my chiro until after but he can only see me now! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. and then i'll be on a long plane ride going to see people i don't know. what am i going to do?

back from the chiro (thanks wonderful boss)... feel worse. hopefully that means i'll feel better tomorrow. when i'm on the plane. for 17 million hours.

ps i'm only 27! how can my back be that of a little old lady? i blame my mother.

bump it

ps good news... i think flash, the "other" kitten might have a home! woo! the lady is a teacher and she has a six month old kitten. i'm tentatively excited. eeeee! (that's my excited noise)

more bad news (i'm a ray of sunshine)

well, stink. one of my favorite radio programs on NPR, "calling all pets," has been cancelled. i'm sad it won't be on during my friday lunch hour.

in other news, how bout this recession? sucks! and it get even more scary as i see things like this going on. big stores are closing! aaaaaah! i need a recession proof job. suggestions?

impending doom

i'm freaking out man! we are going to the great white north to meet chuck's dad and step mom very soon. they're going to be scary. i just know it.

chuck said, "they want a list from you." bewildered i say,"what? what kind of list?" he says, exasperated that i do not know what sort of list, "a christmas list, becky!" "what for? i don't want a list, i don't want presents... they don't even know me! they're buying my ticket! chuck!" annoyed now, he says, "becky! just make a list!" panicking now, i say, "you tell them i don't want a list! you make a list! tell them you made a list! what should i put on it?"

we ended up putting kitchen things on the list, some books, and more kitchen things. then. he was talking to his step-mother. he told her maybe some sweaters or jeans (um, what happened to the list?). and he told her my size! what? i shouldn't care. she doesn't even know me! now she knows my jean size. sweater size, fine, they actually already know that from last year. but jean size? they're buying me jeans? no! do i need new jeans? yes. is some strange lady who i don't know going to buy me jeans? NO! holy mother of crap! from the way he talks about her, she's already judging me. and she got that out of him on purpose and she'll probably tell her daughter too. and then they'll both be judging me. i bet they're lovely people.

i will take deep breaths and think positive thoughts on the plane. i will have a nice time, they will like me, i will like them, i won't be awkward... hey, they got me presents, that's always nice.

in other news, i found some really delicious kroger brand yogurt that's delicious.

shenan

my sister has been discussed before ... fiona. she has a new job at an athletic store and gets free yoga classes. and the cool part (because it involves me) is that she gets to bring a budday! haay! step in buddy (that's me!). i love the yoga! so much! i love the feeling the next day that just sneaks up on you. i hate lifting though, yeck! i figure that i can do yoga instead. sounds good to me.

anywhozzle. we went to yoga. we had fun. we were all chatty and such. it was a good morning (i even got up at 8:30am on my day off. eek!) and then we got in the car to head on down the road. she said, "i'm so sorry about that guy!" "what?" "that guy was such a horrible instructor! i'll take you to a better one next time. i really, really thought he was just awful. his energy was all off." i didn't think he was that bad. shrugs. he wasn't the best i've been to but hey, it was free. we talked about yoga a little while longer and this crush she has on another male instructor. ooooooo!

then she says, "isn't it stupid that they named this tollway 'dallas north tollway?' like, if it's not clearly marked, you could get really confused on which way you're going!" and i of course, said "it's just like any other name, if it's not clearly marked." which of course was mean and horrible.

and then she launches into a tirade about how my brother and i have been mean to her throughout her entire life and i have no idea how that feels and that i'm a horrible person. wow. she says that the whole night we played games at her friend's house, we were specifically making fun of her all night and thinking that she was stupid and acting like assholes.

me= "it was just a game, i had fun. and i was d-runk."
fiona= "see! that's just it! you didn't consider my feelings at all!"
me= "we were playing a game. i was on the other team. i was trying to beat you."
fiona= "why do you want to hurt someone you love???!?"
me= "fiona, i don't think you're stupid. i never have. just because you said a few funny things when you were little (see below, giggle) doesn't mean that i think you're stupid."
fiona= "something dramatic...."

i really don't think she's stupid. i think everything is funny. you can ask chuckles. i laugh a lot. i don't find it mean. i'm just seeing humor in everyday life. it's funny, because it is true. how true. truer words were never spoken.

when fiona was little, she was the littlest one. my brother's the oldest, then me, then fiona. poor fiona. she got everything because she was the youngest. her first car was a '98, my first car was a '66 (sixty six!). her first car was $5,000 and she did not pay for any of it. my first car was $600 (that's six hundred dollars) and i paid for half. and then i got a different (not new, but drivable) car that was an '89 (eighty nine) and paid for half of that as well. this is but one example of how hard her life has been thus far.

now we will discuss the torture. she said, "beaver-age." why is this funny you might ask? she was trying to say, "beverage." that was hilarious. she also said, "man-eh-kerian" instead of "mannequin." also funny. we sometimes mention these two memories (every single family get together) and remember the old days, when things were more carefree and simple.

ps she also wiped boogers all over her bathroom wall when she was little. right above the toilet paper. alright, i'm mean. but i don't think she's stupid and i enjoying going to free yoga while hanging out with my sister. who's great, even without free yoga (but it helps).

kittens part deux

so, those kittens of mine... my friend is taking one (yay!) and the other one (flash) is not going to a creepy man and his seemingly nice wife (i'm still suspicious).

it began a few weeks ago. he called, "do you have any black kittens?" "as a matter of fact, we do!" he was interested and wanted to tell me about his story. his daughter had brought home a kitten who she had seen abused in front of her very eyes (supposedly). when they got the kitten home, it died shortly after (that's the story). now his wife wants another kitten to replace the sad little abused kitten. sniff. so, i said, "i will put you on the list." he says, "i don't want to be on the list. i want that kitten." i calmly say back, "that's fine, but all i can do, is put you on the list." i was definitely getting a huge creepy vibe from him. huge.

the wife came by the hospital to check flash out. she seemed nice, but smelled a little smokey. whatevs. so i told her, "we'll keep you guys on the list."

that was about a week ago, and he called tonight. and it was awful. he says, "when can i pick up my kitten?" i said, "well, i said i could put you on the list, but i haven't made a decision yet." he proceeds to go all crazy on me, repeating "oh my god!" over and over and over again. it was very uncomfortable to say the least. so, thinking fast, i claimed that "one of the girls" was going to adopt her most likely. it was awful. he kept at it with silences from me in between. at one point he said, "my wife is going to cry. i'm going to have her call you and you can tell her." and i believe i said, "ok." shortly thereafter, he hung up when he realized that i was not budging. his wife called about one minute later. i happened to pick up the phone, sadly.

she says, "hi, i'm calling about my kitten." i explained that i had just talked with her husband ("really?") and that somehow he had mixed up what i said, that we had an employee to adopt the kitten. she was very nice and took it well. i thought it might be over.

nope. he called back 3-4 minutes later wanting to talk to my boss, the doctor. she told the phone answerer, the kittens are mine(!). i am the one who makes the decisions regarding their ultimate home, treatment, etc. he says that she must call him before she leaves work. he is told once again, that the doctor has nothing to do with the placement of the kittens. he calls back again to make sure the doctor has his number. ook.

so, i took the kittens home with me. i am scared for the kittens, the hospital, and the staff therein. i really hope this goes no further. i know there are other kittens in the world. i do. i think that he should find a kitten that's not mine! it's mine! also? how does acting like a weirdo help you get a kitten?

another weird thing too? my boss explained it all away with, "i think he's just from new york." i said, "what?" "i think he's from new york." my reply was, "oh. well my mother was born and raised in new york and i don't think she'd ever act like a crazy douche bag." you texans and your crazy ideas about the outside world. ayiyiyi.

ahem

well, my dodger post was a titch dramatic... i'm not gonna lie. i guess this is just the last straw with her and i was blathering on about how i'm so much better than her and make much better dog related decisions and blah, blah, blah. i'm getting it all out. clearing my mind and you happened to stumble across it and get dribbled on (eew, brain goo).

today on NPR they read an as yet unpublished essay of mark twain's. it was about the free speech that comes after death. he said he would write and feel so much better having it on paper. also knowing that nobody he knew would read it. now i'm not comparing myself to mr twain... (insert sarcastic tone here) but... i mean that's my whole goal when writing in this blog. if i can make some people smile or think or make a connection so be it. that's great in fact.

and that is all. (hey! check out santa below. who knew he lived in dfw? not me, that's for sure).

its miley!*

guess what? i saw santa driving a motorcycle on 35! and he was pulling a sleigh! and i almost killed myself taking this picture i was so excited!!! (can you even tell it's santa?)

and then i saw him again at the quicktrip gas station. what a guy. he must be super busy this time of year and to top it all off... just a little motorcycle on 35? scarrrry!

*

i'm sorry

dear dodger,

i'm sorry i didn't get to hang out with you more often. when you got your human kids, the chances decreased. this was probably the start of the trouble. there was not enough time there was not enough space. there was kid stuff all over the floor. you didn't get as much attention just like all the other furry ones.

she said kids would never change the way she treated her animals. i believed her because i thought i knew her. she got rid of the cats first. she said the family never paid attention to them. it wasn't fair. i was going through some dog issues myself and could see the need for a "better" home sometimes. i should have realized. next she got rid of her bird. because he "went for" one of the kids.

then she gave away one of her dogs. i was shocked. i don't know why this was shocking after the other changes. he went to a relative who was an older gentleman in need of a companion. this was definitely a good thing for him, but i can't just give away my dog even if some old guy's lonely. i'll find him another dog. his dog. not mine.

we continued to be friends even after this. i'm a very forgiving person and while these were not decisions i would make, they were not anything "wrong" per se. she had homes for them. they were even still in her family. who am i to judge?

dodger, you had a problem eating non food items. bad boy. the thing is, with dogs we have to be diligent in cleaning up and putting things away that might be considered tasty to doggies. you had to have surgery to remove a foreign body from your GI tract. you recovered well from that surgery, apparently not learning a lesson. some people don't know that dogs don't learn lessons in this way. humans learn lessons: pick up shit off the floor!

i know you probably could tell there were changes dodger, but it wasn't that bad for you guys. the switch to cheap food was inevitable. other small things changed too. the last time we talked, she had changed back to a good food. i had no idea that more was to come.

that saturday she called me in the early morning. then i got another call. i called back to a panicked owner worried about her dog. you ate something again and you wouldn't stop vomiting. she asked me, "is this going to cost me my children?" through tears. of course not, there is always a way (especially since i work there!). i clearly said no. there are a multitude of options in any situation. she took you to my emergency clinic. she told me she and her husband had decided that they would do anything it took for you. i knew it would be ok. after all, a GI surgery, while expensive, if caught early enough, is usually a sure fix. well, as sure as you can get in medicine.

i kept checking on you, i got no response for a few hours. i assumed that she was busy. i assumed she was still there, waiting for you. i tried to check on you again and said we waved to you as we passed the clinic.

an hour later she finally told me she put you to sleep.

i'm sorry you were let go way before your time. six is so young for a mini-schnauzer. if i had known. if she had called me back. if i had called into work. if only. i found out later that one of the other employees had thought about saving you, giving you a chance (which shows that you definitely had a chance to survive!). add one more if to the pile.

i loved you a lot. i loved your personality. i loved your grrrs. i loved your cute, scraggly eyebrows. i loved that you got into trouble so often that one of the birds said, "dod-ger" in a low voice. i loved that you were always so happy to see me. i'm so sorry. i wish it could have been different.

i love you,
becky

frowny face

i'm having a sad slash stressful slash panicky week, maybe month. there's a definite funk settling in my life in general.

my hours were cut back at work. great. happy xmas.

my hours at my other job were changed, back to a shitty shift.

my best friend decided to euthanize her dog for a totally fixable problem. i would have saved him. i would have paid. i loved that dog. i didn't even get to see him again.

i think about that dog at least 5 times a day

she's been texting and now has called me. i don't want to talk to her.

i don't know if she deserves the chance to tell me why.

my mother thinks i don't trust her because i'm letting chuck's mom take matilda for xmas.

i went to a *free* yoga class with my sister (this is the good part). on the way home she told me that i am mean and have made her feel stupid her entire life. ugh

i am cold at my job every. single. day. why can't i have heat? i think i'm wearing my not-uggs tomorrow.

man makeover

i just ready an hilarious article about making over your man

My favorite quote, you might ask? "If he doesn't open the door to the restaurant for you, don't open it yourself to alleviate awkwardness. Just stay where you are, smile, and motion to the door with a tilt of your head, which should cue him into action."

dogs

my dog was badly injured the night that we were driving to houston. she required an approximately 2 hour long surgery to place drain tubes and to stitch up the holes. she's on all sorts of antibiotics and pain medications. it sucked.

i dropped off the dogs at my mother's house. the two little ones are allowed at the apartment and the medium sized one stays with my mother to keep her dog company because she is insane (the dog, not my mother). she's one of my rescues, a great dane that was almost killed as a puppy. her "breeder" tried to euthanize her at home with expired drugs she had to perform illegal ear cropping surgeries. she's a real peach. for some reason my mother loves that thing, it's lucky she does because she's got serious issues (the dog, not my mother). my mom thinks she might have autism. anyway, we were just about headed out the door, two hours behind schedule, when my mother calls me. she said the two little guys decided to have a dust-up and matilda* was hurt. she had a small laceration under one ear, "as wide as my little fingernail." ok. i get my stuff out, the stapler, antiseptic and other things. i'll just staple whatever's open closed, clean her up and put a call in to the doc.

my mother arrives and i look at matilda for the first time. i dissolve into tears. not violent horrible tears, tears that make your heart hurt. she was a sad little sight to behold. from that point on i knew we were in for a long night. i asked chuck if it would be ok to bring her with us. then we proceeded to the emergency hospital. we got her some pain meds and waited and waited. the surgery went well other than the discovery of the real damage which was much worse than i had originally thought. about three quarters of her neck is shaved all the way around. she's got a few holes, a few stitches and two large drain tubes.

it's lucky we waited until so late to leave, it's lucky i work at an emergency clinic and it's lucky the damage was such that it could be a relatively quick fix. i, on the other hand, had to drive all the way to houston with shaved matilda hair in my bra while holding slash comforting a shell shocked, doped up doggy.

we made it through the weekend and came out ok. she's going to be fine. my brother asked me if it was ok that i had assisted in her surgery (as in human hospital rules). he asked if people normally do that and if it's allowed. i told him that the initial shock of it was bad, but i knew i could fix her so that was my main goal. he was really worried i might be scarred for life. i don't know if i could hold it together if things were iffy or if it was something was terribly wrong. then i might have had to back off into a corner (and rock eerily back and forth).

now all we need is a dog scarf.

*name changed to protect innocent furry creatures.

the town of margarita (the first set of holidays: part deux)

now we're back to dallas and the margarita party. my family had a party the day after the day after thanksgiving. would not recommend this day for a party unless it's thanksgiving related. would not. just would not do it. that's just me though.

this party was margarita related. it was a celebration of my sister graduating from college and my grandmother's house warming party. two things at once! we like to multi-task. chuck and i arrived late after driving all day in traffic from houston. we were tired and in need of margaritas. well, i was anyway. i drank a lot of margaritas. i grabbed my fajitas (just before the catering guy was about to put everything away) poured myself a small margarita and went to the kids table in the garage to eat. i lost chuck to my dad in the kitchen, but i wasn't going to stop. even when my annoying (!) second cousin tried to waylay me with tales of her snotty cat (it's so great working in this field).

i was introduced to all the kids, my brother and sister's friends (sadly my "friend" and her family couldn't come, yet again). then i got down to the business of fajitas and margaritas. then i had another one. then i got my brother and his friend one, "put a little extra tequila with mine." he said. what a great idea my brother had! i put extra tequila with mine as well. delicious! and then i saw a big cup. "where did you get that big cup?" i queried. then i got a big cup. then it was all over.

we ended up traveling to my sister's friend's house to play games. chuck cut me off at this point but then my sister made me a raspberry vodka and sprite, so that really didn't stick. can i just say, she was drinking crown and sprite, it tasted like gross? can i just get that in? she claimed it was strong, but yuck! we played "catch phrase" until the wee hours of the morning. my team won (athankyou to my brother and new guy who's funny) and we got into some pretty hilarious situations (if i don't say so myself). my sister got the clue "coffee break" and her attempt at solving the phrase was, "you drink it and you do it." that's a keeper. at one point we got into a mustache conversation and chuck said "she has a mustache! hee hee hee!" because he finds that sonic commercial funny (i don't have a mustache!). therefore, i told everyone that he can't grow a mustache. we had a talk about that in the morning. poor non-hairy chuck.

a good cap-off to the holiday weekend. i feel tired. i need a nap like yesterday.

ps i don't have a mustache!

the first set of holidays

ok, so they're not really in-laws (fingers crossed) but they are chuck's family... just waiting on chuck. we went to houston to visit chuck's mom who is graciously letting chuck's sister, her husband and their two kids (4 and 12) live in her 19th story condo (with her). hilarity, obviously ensued.

we went to see a christmas carol on friday. everyone seemed unimpressed. i really liked it. maybe i'm just a sucker for plays, but i cried at tiny tim and everything. chuck caught me with the tears shimmering in my eyes, turned my head with my chin while the performance was in full swing, smiled and said, "nooo." i just can't help myself, that little boy was in a leg brace with a tiny crutch and he sang a little christmas carol in a tiny little boy voice. how can that not get you? have you no heart? have you no soul??? they all were like, "i didn't like the way they did this... the one in detroit was sooo much better.... why were there weird ghosts dancing around?" and on and on. i've seen a few christmas carol's in my day. this was not bad. it was cute. it was a chistmas carol for heavens sake.

after the play, on the way home, chuck had his sister and her husband gang up on me. he claims i am a "texan." so, he says, with no preface, "would you call someone who moved to texas when she was nine and lived there until she was 27 a texan?" and they both, without hesitation, said, "yes." pfft. no. you are you want to be. i don't claim texas. i'm sorry. just no, no, no. and then he started in on my "accent." what? once again. no. no. no. i don't have an accent. and if i do, it's not a texan accent. that's fer darn tootin'. texas (and by "texas" i mean dallas) + northern california do not equal an accent. that is a recipe for no accent whatsoever. then she asked me if she had an accent. they're "from" michigan (according to their warped definition). those two have a crazy accent... chuck has an accent.

and then the car dissolved in to talk of texan's mysterious aversion to the word "pop." "why do they always have to ask what pop is?" "i've been asked 12 times to repeat myself when i ask for pop." "i've only been asked once, do they not know what pop is???" and my favorite from chuck: "it's like you're really throwing them off because you leave off the soda part." c'mon people. when a waiter asks me what i want, i always say, "water," or "diet coke," or "iced tea." i can't think of a single time when i would say just "pop." because they would say, "what sort of 'pop' would you like, pray tell?" and then i would have to say, "diet coke." (but i wouldn't say that because i have not had any caffeine for like seventeen years. yay for me!). by the by, texans use the term coke to denote any type of carbonated beverage. "do you want a coke?" "why yes, i'll have a sprite, thanks (insert gratuitous y'all here)."

i'm over it. i asked my mom and she said i'm not texan. she said to chuck, "she was started in brazil (eeew!), born in philly, went to italy (she probably thinks i could say i'm from there- she claims i spoke fluent italian as a four year old), and then california. she's not texan." thanks, mom. i appreciate it. she also said i could claim to be a new yorker so.... yikes with that. i'm going to let you in on a small secret, new york is not a country. you cannot be new york-american in the same sense you can be finnish-american. in that case i would be first generation new york-american. the second in my family to have an american education. it's hard in regular america, but we're soldering on. i remember the first time i saw the statue of liberty on the boat... from new york to... america! or is it to new york? god bless america!

we had fun. and right before we got on down the road, we had some delicious vietnamese foods. i had a lemon grass beef and noodle bowl and it was awesome. then we drove aaaaall the way to dallas through horrible traffic and had to go to a margarita party (shucks)....