list of funny things in the hospital

• my mom has the worst luck in roommates.
• number one: moaned with every breath. it did not sound sexual but every time i re-enacted the moaning i sounded sexual.
• she also had two people (who she didn't know) come in and perform what can only be described as a jesus seance around her.
• number two: thought that there were people (one of whom was eight feet tall) beating her up, trying to get her to sign away her power of attorney to take all her money.
• she also kept telling people she was naked and had a suitcase full of clothes when she clearly had a trendy hospital gown on
• she also would not let me talk to my mom when i called the room. at one point i said, "yes, you do have a roommate, i was just there! just say her name and the word phone." she hung up on me and left the phone off the hook.
• we went for a walk to get away from the craziness detailed above and there was a person (who smelled (bad)) in the little waiting area. we were talking about something and my mom whispered, out of nowhere, "is that a man or a woman?"
• it was a smelly woman
• my mom's hair (sorry mom, hospital hair is funny)
• my dad coming to take over for me and going to read a book in the corner instead of actually talking with his wife or something.
• my pronunciation of rhododendrons every time i had to say it (at least fifty times) while reading the amber spyglass to my mom.