becky the puss out kid (TMIT)

a tradition, nay a weekly national holiday devised by lilu. all the TMIs are apparently here for your viewing pleasure. my second foray into the awesomely bad TMI. here goes...



for my second TMIT i thought i would puss out and tell you about people other than me. namely, chuck. yay for chuck! he's such an awesome guy that i almost didn't want to ruin the facade he's created for the pooblic... but! since nobody knows who he is i'll let the cat out of the bag, he is a dirty, dirty boy. (i think he's swell)

he's a lot more open about poopy and peepees. he's actually the reason i figured out that there was something wrong with diarrhea every day. he'll comment on bathroom noises (even over the faucet running and even the SHOWER! sorry environment). he'll say things like, "woah! becky blew up the bathroom!!!" he'll laugh hysterically when, on occasion, i let out a toot. every single time i mention something about my tummy (feeling weird, hurty, or whatevs) he says, "maybe you need to poop. why don't you get in there and give it a shot," over my protests that ladies do not poop.



oh right, back to chuck. we've had the age-old wiping talk. oh, you've never had the wiping talk? you don't know what i'm talking about? you've never contemplated the various ways people might wipe their ass? weird. apparently there are two main ways to wipe one's ass: standing up or sitting down. there are variations (i've done research) to the main techniques but two will suffice. i am a sitter and chuck is a stander. i just can't even wrap my head around the standing technique. i tried it in my head and then road tested it as well. no dice. it's wrong and horrible and squishy. i will concede that i might possibly be doing it wrong but i don't want to explore that avenue further. (no, really i don't).



the reason this is important is because we have a magazine "rack*" in the bathroom. and the reason that's important is because chuck pooped on my book. well, ok, he didn't actually poop on the book. you see, it happened like this, he came out and said, "i have some bad news." at first he was a little embarrassed and then laughing and then embarrassed again. apparently he was wiping standing up (obv where the problems started) and he somehow flung a piece and it landed on MY book located in the rack next to the toilet. he came out with the book to ask for cleaning suggestions. it was one of my favorite calvin and hobbes books perfect for mindless bathroom reading.



see kids, these are the dangers of reading while pooping and keeping said books in easily accessible areas around the pot... and i've never read that book again. also, the rack is now safely located across the bathroom.



*it's not really a rack it's more of a basket