Mmmmmmmmmmmmmaggots! (TMIT)

a tradition, nay a weekly national holiday devised by lilu. all the TMIs are apparently here for your viewing pleasure. my second foray into the awesomely bad TMI. here goes...

i was trying to find a good picture but they're all just too gross, so you're welcome.

it's that time again! i got my inspiration from jp’s exploding foot for this week's post. i have seen a lot of totally gross and cool at the same time things in the veterinary world. the latest horrible atrocity of nature i alluded to on that post was a teeny tiny skinny cat who came in with puss in lieu of an eyeball. BUT i wasn’t present for the culmination of the cat’s treatment so i will not describe the absolute horror that was that cat’s headal section. (it literally looked like a “very smart cat” but with puss instead of brains).

speaking of cats, the first tale to tell is about a cat. a kitten, to be exact, came into the clinic along with a super cute female couple. they had a gaggle of other cute animals that just seemed to happen to them. they kept every one and gave them the best of homes. this kitten was no different. the couple had been hearing kitten yowling for three days under their neighbor’s house. they tried to investigate but could never figure out what was going on with yowly kitten. the neighbors weren’t very helpful either.

one of the two (I bet this person was assigned bug killer duties as well) decided to venture under the house and found a kitten with it’s wee leg tangled in the house’s underbelly. this is when she brought it to the clinic. it had a strangulation wound on it’s left rear leg. it had to be amputated. sniff, sniff, tear.

kitten leg tangled in stuff for three days equals not good. we got the kitten under anesthesia and i was going to shave the area. i got a couple of swipes in with the clippers when… you see when an animal goes under anesthesia any small things that might be inhabiting said animal will, as we call it in the biz, “bail out.” so, when i started clipping, the kitten’s leg inhabitants were unhappy.

Goo!!!

then several million maggots tried to eat me alive. they were going straight up and for my face!

*

i was probably 20ish at the time and had not been fully inducted into maggotry. had never seen something so disgusting in my entire life! i ran screaming from the room.**

the cat made it through to live a wonderful three-legged kitty life.

the second story (as if that wasn’t enough), sets forth the second grossest maggot story ever. at the emergency clinic we get a bunch of what are deemed “backyard dogs.” translation: this is the very first time this dog has ever been to a clinic and possibly even out of the backyard. they are usually filthy. they are usually scared out of their minds. they are usually almost dead. they usually wish they were all the way dead and perhaps this should have happened a year ago.

this dog was mix dog brown, about 30 pounds and in bad shape. the owner said, “i haven’t seen her in ‘bout a week but the kids say she ain’t walking.” (how can you not see your dog in a week?) anywho, I asked what he would like to do with the dog? what was his current goal? he said he just wanted to talk with the doctor first.

i went to the back to get vitals on the dog (TPR). the pulse and the resp rate, done! now for the temperature, lift up her little tail for a rectal temp and we’ll just…

GOO!!! (again)

“i am not getting a temperature!” i said, in one of those moments where it’s hard to control the volume of your voice. my friend (actually, it was marky) said reasonably, “well, we need a temperature for the TPR.” to which i replied, “if you can find a hole you’re comfortable putting that in, be my guest.” he tried and then said, “no, no, NO!” i then said, “yeah. see? ya see? yeah.”

there was an extra hole. and that hole was filled with writhing maggots. writhing maggots, writhing all over the damn place. ughnggggnhhh. please don’t let me come back as a backyard dog, please oh please, oh please.

* i lied. the other ones were much grosser, so you're welcome
**which reminds me of another time at the very same clinic when i was getting towels off a shelf and a roach. FLEW AT MY FACE! screaming from the room.

ps i just found out, because of my numerous health issues, i will have to, in the very near future poo in a cup. tmit kept me from jumping off a cliff. good material is hard to come by!