i have a horrible sunburn affecting every skin cell of my entire body. this may or may not affect my high quality writing skillz. i also have a stark white line encircling my left wrist where my hair tie blocked the sun. it's sexy. you should do it too next time you plan on getting a crippling sunburn. i know people put like little "cute stickers" on their body to block this sun slash tanning bed sun. but this is different and cool.
it's buuuuurning.
so memorial day weekend was pretty boss. except for the diarrhea. that was totally not boss. not boss at all. carrabba's gluten free menu? you suck. and fuck you. fuck you to hell. and of course the hoooorrible sunburn is also right out of the bossness. right out!
now it's itching AND burning at the SAME TIME!
the other day* i went to pei wei for lunch (holla reliable gluten free menu!). they have a fabulous menu. i was in possession of my vietnamese salad rolls and complimentary drink (holla complimentary drink). i was skipping in the sunshine serenading the birds with a jaunty chune.** when all of the sudden i was nearly KILLED by some WHORE who almost KILLED me because she was trying to drive into a PARKING spot at approximately 90 kagillion miles PER hour.
i threw my drink at her.
NOT because she's a WHORE but because somehow i was trying to launch myself out of the way by throwing my drink at her car. like by throwing the drink momentum would be generated and throw me backwards as a result. what? and then there was the aftermath. where i had to be all, "what the hell?" with my eyes at this girl while trying not to laugh because i have absurd imaginings while walking around in my life. absurd.
*the other, other day
**which is the same thing as tune but with an adorable accent. oh, irish people. swoon
15 comments:
Hahaha... I'm picturing the scene where you throw your drink at a car whizzing through the parking lot!
Sorry about your burn. I have so been there (thanks Mom and Dad for being terrifically pale).
Thanks for following my blog!
E
this one is funny!! i was laughing my face off and my boyfriend was like "what the?" so i read the part about the drink-throwing momentum
and he thought you are funny too.
so...yeah
congratulations?
You should throw the drinks instead of imagining it, just seize the moment. Bad drivers like that deserve it ;P
Ahaha! My BFF is Scottish and he says tuna like chuna. LOL
good thing the drink was free. Only if you had three more. Think of all the damage...
I know your pain - all the skin on my back has peeled off from a nasty sunburn last week ~ ouch!
Ugh sunburns are awful aren't they? I hate getting sunburns too. Grrr...
pma- it was awesome
elizabeth- thanks, that'll teach me not to be a dumbass
miss- aaww, thanks to both of you! i guess?
andhari- oh i did! she sucked
gabby- that's the best pronunciation ever!
jackie- i can just imagine it... wow
kristi- eeew! i've been applying lotion every three minutes to avoid that fate.
chinky- sooo awful. kinda makes me want to put something on my skin to block the sun next time. hindsight.
I'm packing to go to the beach for the weekend and can't find my (exotortionatly expensive) sun screen. Gah! Anyway, hope it's not blistering.
congrats for keeping the mean eyes and not laughing! that's talent :)
Oh gosh, sunburns are the worst. Right now my entire face and the little space in between my breasts is peeling ... noooot fun.
And wow, I hate crazy drivers in parking lots, I'm just imagining the throwing-of-the-drink scenario right now!
know what works on sunburn, viniger. i know it sounds weird, but it takes the sting out of it, and soothes and cools it.
its like heaven!
j- good luck. reliable sunscreen is hard to find.
lana- i know, right? i'm wicked talented
nik- my boobies are sad as well. damn sun!
fizz- hmmm, i'll have to try that tonight. i just found out, soy sauce works for burns but i'm allergic to it. i like heaven.
I love it! Did she say anything back?! Err
Post a Comment