as you might imagine, my site draws the major google hittage (cough, cough). i mean, how could it not, right? worms in the title, poop in the contents, eating things in there as well? genius. you can only imagine the things that lead here. i've been kicking around this idea for months but when i saw my favorite "keyword" ever, i knew i had to do it. i'll not keep you in suspense: my favorite, you ask? that's got to be "mark harmon" the day after i mentioned him, the hits started. i giggled so hard at that biz. i bet they're disappointed. then there's "burning man 'hotness.'" related to mark harmon? my aunt would argue, yes.
then i get the "how to"s these crack me up, "how to fluff a pillow" is the best one. i think i have diagrams and everything.... somewhere. ah yes, it's right after "how to have sex with a pillow." i'm have a veritable plethora of information on pillow related relations. most disturbing: "i'm 12 can i have sex with a pillow." they also asked for 13 year olds. um, what? this one makes me laugh while disturbing me "how to introduce worms to my vagina sex." vagina sex, classic.
person most shocked by what they encountered: "first grade activities"
longest average stay: "ways not to get pregnant." i sincerely hope they found better advice elsewhere. fingers crossed.
most appropriate new blog title according to content: "awkward poop story."
most gentlemanly: "shall lady use pillow at the time of doing sex"
most hits: "big poops." my mother would be so proud.
i will not mention the shanimal schex. they keep coming here and i keep telling them, we don't "cater to their needs." so you go away you stinky, stinky people who are bad, bad, bad. stop doing horrible things to shanimals. schanimals don't like that at all. well, arguably the boy animals maaaay... ok, no. forget i even said anything.
how did you guys find me? was is the pregnancy one? be honest.
31 comments:
Yes...I googled "ways to not get pregnant" AND HERE WE ARE!
hahaha I am too scared to do this!
Hahaha. I found you through 20SB, but I can tell you that someone (twice!) has found my blog through "alec baldwin cock size."
I found you via the keywords "last night a midget fucked my mailbox"...
I honestly found you from 20sb although what you said about vagina and worm should really make top google search. People out there really have issues :p
Oh crap! OK, OK, I'll admit it. I'm one of the pillow sex Googlers. We can still be friends though, right? 'Cause you totally showed me how not to get pregnant and everything. Friends teach friends these things, after all.
Through none of the above. You commented on my blog and I liked you...despite the fact that you talk about poop. Which is just horrible.
The weird thing is that I've googled a ton of stuff and I've never been to someone's blog as a result.
I got a hit off of "Little Girl Penis"
I was mortified.
I think I searched for "Talks funny, likes poop" and there you were!
OK no, I didn't. But if I did I bet you WOULD.
lol.
i didn't google at all.
i just followed blog links. ;)
I think YOU found me (stalker).
haha- still laughing at vagina sex.
ok typing that make me start another giggle fit.
the favorite for my blog is: "glass up your ass" and "sexy redhead fluffer"
I totally love seeing the ridiculous google searches that bring traffic to my page. "Dead girl in McDonald's meat" and similar searches have made up for a large chunk of my search engine traffic since I posted on it last week.
Big poops? lol.
Oh how we love the google machine.
You found me first. And then I retro-found you.
I love that people need to google "ways not to get pregnant". If you need google to tell you, you're probably not qualified to be having sex.
oh god i just LOVE seeing blog google searches! especially when people phrase things as a question. it cracks me up everytime.
my two recent favorites were:
1. is elton john left handed? [i don't fucking know and never mentioned it on my blog]
2. i just hit a possum and feel horrible [wtf?!]
A few people have found mine through 'boobs and bulges.' I mean that's how I found yours...
em- i'm glad that i could help, we're gonna make it!
amy- i've heard you're the expert!
om- NO WAY! how cool is that?
and- woo! for 20sb! yeah, they do!
tgwtpt- pillow sex is hawt! FRIENDS FOREVER!
erin- overcome the aversion to poop, score!
katie- yowza, why do people suck so hard?
veggie- i'm going to go try that... also, new blog name?
carrie- yayee for linkees
gabs- no, no, no! you obviously fell in love with me, then we fell in love, and now we live happily ever after.
valerie- um, ouch! vagina sex is for winners
cr- oh, google, when will you steer us wrong?*
*all the time
tIm- and then it was magic.
renee- it's very tricky to figure out these days.
lustee- niiice, i don't know how it all ends up the way it does. weird. it's pretty funny seeing it all though.
nik- we should form a group!
Well, I googled "most awesome website run by the hottest lady in Texas" and it brought me here. That's truth in advertising, my friend.
also, i awarded you an award
"fingers crossed."
You mean LEGS!
you are too much! i can't remember how i found you???????? maybe through sara says awesome? or someone cool like that?
I was reading this and laughing... until I got to the part about "I'm 12" and the pillow stuff.
Now I'm leaving 'cause I'm absolutely sure I know this person and they must be stopped.
big poops. Totally. I like to look at pictures of poo.
no, i dont but i guess this is a big thing online, as one of my friends feels the need to send me random poop pics off the net from time to time.
I followed the rabbit down the hole and here I am...obviously that rabbit had a thing for "poop"...and if the poop had worms in it, even better.
Dirty rabbits.
I love it!! keep posting. SO hilarious!!!!
am i the only one who feels really, really badly for the person who came here on 'first grade activities'?!
and you and i will always have my little pony as the story of how we met :)
jillee- you are my favorite jill EVER! EVER! too good to me!
lustee- lil ol me?
lilu- oh! BURN!
dg- it's enough that we found each other.
owo- they MUST! i wanna help!
fizzi- it's niche market :)
ccbb- rabbits are dirty whores.
rdg- why, thank you!
lana- yes! they had fun! giggle, giggle. ah, the good old days.
Thanks for the comment on my blog!!
you found me first, i believe! but i contimued to read you too, because you're so great:)( so great in fact, that i've given you an award!
hello ...hehe this the best blog name I have ever heard ... very creative ...
keep up the good wrk :)
happy blooging :)
people pretty much only get to my blog looking for alice in wonderland p0rn. it's awesome.
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