not a good tmit

i cannot do this week's tmit properly because i am panicking over my dog's travel arrangements! should i get this one or this one or this one?!?! is it ok if the dimensions are a half an inch bigger than they say on the airline website? we got into a whole thing about chuck's bag over xmas vacay. it was the worstest thing ever. and now i'm thinking that we could get kicked off? i dunno! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh

BUT i have a story for you! it's not tmi tmi but it's a little tmi-y. so screw you if you don't think so! blah! i work in an emergency clinic (for aminals) and we do stuff to aminals. i don't know if you know this (i'm guessing, no) but veterinarians (for the most part) are super very weird. there are some, like dr father, who are awesome but gah! the weirdies that this profession attracts! seriously. weird.

anywho, one weird one in partic is very weird. she's like all hippy dippy and bimbo-y and airheaded. she wears thongs(nsfw) everyday. she wears scrubs that baaaarely cover her midriff. oo- is that a little- oo- just a - little... theeeere it is! your tummy! you have a tummy peeking out of your scrubbies! hello, tum-tum. aaaw, in't that just cute! it makes all the males just want to do the hell RIGHT outta ya! that's the goal, right? doin?

she's a whore.

one time, she came in on "not her shift," late (which relates back to the whole airheadedness) and she was all like, "i'm here!" like we were waiting and everyone just like looked at her, eyebrows raised. we kept looking at her because her hair was a mess. she has straight thin hair and every inch of it was coated in a thick layer of grease. ew.

sometimes she was smelly.

in fact, ONE time, my friend came back into the treatment area, after being on a break and said, "WHAT is that SMELL???" really loudly. and dr greasy hair said, "oh, i just put on some perfume." and donatella said, "NO! it's not PERfume! it smells really BAD!" greasy said, "i think that's it." donatella, being a little airy herself, would NOT believe her, she insisted that it was not the perfume it was something dead somewhere in that vicinity. then donatella came over to me to help me with something. we were stationed about FOUR (4) feet from greasy. donatella said, in a stage whisper, "do you REALLY think that was her perfume??? it smells AWFUL!! oh my goooosh!"

dr greasey thong pants was wearing some sort of patchouli based perfume rub and telly was NOT having it. i enjoyed watching the show while saying, "tell, i think she can hear you a little."

other doctor inspired tmi's:
i know one doctor who doesn't were gloves when she neuters cats (ball guts under your fingernails, swanky)
i know one doctor who's a douche bag (oh, wait. yeah, more than one)
i know a doctor who expresses her dog's anal glands... without gloves!

client inspired tmi's:
one client told several people that her cat licks earwax out of her ear for her (you know, in case he were to try something with one of us)
one client admitted to trying to breastfeed a kitten


ps can you tell that i am so much better than this dr greasy? because: i don't wear thongs, ever!* i don't have greasy hair! and i do NOT wear perfume that smells BAD!
*ok, that's a lie.

you can blame this altogether to much information and the lovely talented lilu and read some other biz here (where they aaaaall are for you! from the lilu.