schanimal schex (tmit)

i was over at "calling people names" the other day and she wrote about catsex, cats and the sex at the same time YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! anywho, check it out. then i started writing a comment about my dogs and then i was like, "this is a frickin long comment. she doesn't want to know this!" and then i had a conference call with becky and we decided that it probably just needed to be a tmit. so, yeah, that's how this happened.

however, we're not going to talk about catsex we're going to talk about dogs. my dogs are inappropriate. rather annoying really. there's candi who will just hop up on the bed during the deed. this is how it goes: hop! hello! then becky says, "OFF!" she then scurries into her bed, looking at me with her sad, sad eyes. it really puts a damper on the whole "orgasm" goal that we've set as a personal and financial goal for ourselves.

if matilda is out, she'll start shaking and backing into a corner. it's very disturbing, sometimes distracting and a little hilarious. so! we put her in her "lil housey." BUT if she's in her crate she will now start whining IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TIME OF THE SEX! and i have to be all, "SSSHHHHHH!" then i'm all, giggly and chuck says "why are you laughing?" he says that a lot before during and after the sexy. i giggle too much. waaaaay too much. like, "why is that girl a goob?" too much.

one time when tonka was here (sniffle) she came up and licked chuck's hand. HE started to giggle and then he PET HER WHILE HIS PENIS WAS OCCUPIED! i said something constructive like, "CHUUUUUCK!" and he laughed and said, "what?" and then i was like, "i'm done." then HE said, "oh, geeze- no, i'll stop- it'll be fine. come back up." while not letting me off at the station. if you know what i mean.

point is, dogs are not conducive to getting my proverbial rocks off. we're going to have to trade them in for snakes. except chuck's deathly afraid of snakes. it makes me giggle.

and that's the time. becky giggled. while having sex with people.*

*chuck

i seriously think i maybe a ra-tard. anywho:

you can blame this altogether to much information and the lovely talented lilu and read some other biz here (where they aaaaall are for you! from the lilu)