what's up chuck? (part deux)

read the first official what's up chuck

the dogs come running into the kitchen like something is up.
chuck: you're not trickin me! you already ate!
becky: those bastards
chuck: ya little assholes.

chuck: (laser noises plus hand gun pointing at becky) choo, choo, chooz, shoe, chsfooo*
becky: (pointing hand gun at chuck)
chuck: your laser's broken
becky: mine's silent. you didn't even know it, you're dead.
*i don't know how to spell laser gun noises

while grilling sausages
becky: your sausage just jizzed on me.
chuck: huh huh
becky: look! (points to skirt with grease stains)
chuck: gross
becky: i touched it and it just squirted everywhere
chuck: (looks at me like that was too easy)

chuck: did you like how i washed the sheets? was that a nice surprise?
becky: yes! is that because of all the sex?
chuck: there was no sex.
becky: aaaaall the sex?
chuck: no sex. only mouth sex.
becky: that counts

proving that the kid's fascinated by sheets...
chuck: hey, you're gonna be really excited. i made the sheets super tight.
becky: great babe (laughing)
chuck: i did, i made the bottom sheet really tight.
becky: (still laughing)
chuck: i don't know why you're laughing. nobody likes to be laughed at.
becky: (uncontrollable laughing)

something on tv about kids with no adults
chuck: its gonna be like lord of the rings
becky: (quizzical look)
chuck: lord of the flies

chuck: my armpits stink. i hope we don't get too excited at the movie.
becky: *gasp!* you can't do the wave.
chuck: i can do the elbow wave.

because of the t9 function on my phone (that's right! i blame YOU phone!) i wrote the following message after waking chuck while going to the 6am bikram class...
becky(via text): sorry i wolf you... have a great day
chuck(via text): i love you too.
after i got out of class i was smiley and was like...
becky: aaaaaw, did i text i love you? (to myself*)
later that evening...
becky: i meant "sorry i WOKE you." but that made me all smiley! (smiles)
chuck: well, i didn't know. i thought you were being cute. (rolls eyes) i didn't want to make you mad.
becky: hmpf! yooooou loooove me!
*i said that to myself i wasn't questioning that i texted myself

and if you want more silly things boys girls date say check out the original inspiration at lilu's hawz

BONUS! check out this action! i've been collecting other things my father has passed down to me in his infinite wisdom of wisdomness. he's just a real peach. without further ado, i give you "this is what my dad actually said to me:"

we're needing to figure out something to do with my aunt's house. my father, ever the practical man, discussed me buying her house. "well, someone needs to pay the mortgage. and i'll tell you like i told your sister, you're not living there for free."

he's really good at invitations: "me and a couple of the guys killed some pigs. we're cooking them on the fourth of july. so think about that."

he's also does really well with compliments. i tried to talk to him about plant hangers he welded for my grandmother.
becky: i heard you made these. i really like them, dad.
dad: good for you.

BONUS! again! something funny i said about my vagina! seemed like a perfect place to put it, right after discussing my father. classy, becky.
chuck(while watching the playoffs, said wistfully): you see how they all have beards?
becky: huh?
chuck: well, they don't shave during the playoffs. for luck. (said with an admiring smile and a far off look in his eyes)
becky: look!
chuck: (looks)
becky: playoff beard vagina!
chuck: i love you (takes* me on the living room floor while watching hockey)
disclaimer: chuck is a hockey fan.
disclaimer: the last part might not have happened.
appendix: i usually have a very tidy vagina. shiny. don't judge.
*this means the sex. the hockey sex.