oops! who's in charge of titles? whoever it is, you're fired! fired, i tell you!

you can read about the first encounter here. it was awesome.

as you may or may not know, i am very, very important. so, when i stepped out of the shower and saw this, i was pretty excited cool and nonchalant. because i'm so cool.

i very calmly ran right into the bedroom and said (calmly), "did you write a huge b on the mirror because you love me so much?? huh? didya? that's very sweet poopykins! i'll do it for you next time!" to which he said, "wha?"

therefore, it's surely aliens. again.

clearly, aliens. those silly, little buggers. always leaving me messages on my bathroom mirror. thoughtful, is what they are... thing is, why? am i right? i'm right. why would they write just "b?" i ran back into the bathroom to investigate further. and found this:

does anyone speak alien? because that would be very helpful. there's something there i can feel it. we're sending it off to the institute. they're working 'round the clock. they're really great guys. just the best. if you want, i could set you up with one. we could double date! oo! you would be perfect for james. he's tall, green eyes and just a really huge penis. that thing is large, gals. I'VE never seen it, but i heard. whew. if you're into that sort of thing, i mean.

anyshoozle, get back to me on that later.

then i went to see fiiiyaaah!works. because i love america, that's why! i love america and that's what we do to show our love. blow. up. shit. blow it right up. and make pretty things in the sky pretty. with sparklies and bangs and wooooooos! there were a lot of "woos!" and people shouting "america!!!" really loudly at the climax. last year, someone yelled, "george BUSH!"

it was awesome.

we went to the addison show. did you know that chuck looked it up? and that the addison show is the ELVENTH! in the nation for the awesomest show IN THE UNITED STATES! (this sort of thing is very important).

at the beginning of the show, rated eleventh in the nation, there are airplanes! in the sky! with smoke shooting out of their asses. one of them wrote me a letter:

another b! i checked with chuck first, "babe! it's a b! in the sky! did you write a b for me again? hey, everyone! chuck wrote me a b in the sky!" then his aunt said, "hey, that is a b for becky." she said this in a tone that belied the fact that she might think i'm slightly "slow."

that was just the beginning. the fireworks started. they were powing and banging and sparkling and aaaaamazing! "woooooo!" said everyone. check out this "firework," scoff! message from ALIENS!

you might think that it's a stretch but as you can see, the boys in the lab put it through their "machines" and came up with this little dooze:

aliens are at it again. they followed up with this:



smoke signals! there are characters up there just begging to be interpreted! james? you and your large penis? can you help me out on this one? hmmmm? there i go again, talking up james. he's just a great guy. i'm not even kidding. you? me? double date? *wiggles eyebrows up and down* steak and lob? mmmmm, steak and lob.

i'm assuming that there are further instructions for the upcoming war. for instance, "stock up on bacon and oranges." i'm going to get chocolate as well, i think. probably water would be a good idea. i'm not going to second guess aliens, however. they're light years ahead of humans.

i'll have to tell my dad not to shoot them with his cannon. yes, my dad has a cannon.

and also zomg! the bloggess! wrote about her dad's cannon the day after i wrote about my dad's cannon. coincidence? maybe she's a.... or maybe she's getting tips from... only time will tell.