"Dogs are a Girl's Best Friend" by gabby!

in a world without becky, we will all cry. oh noes, don't cry because it's guest pee time! it's guest pee time, it's guest pee time! NOT where guests will be peeing on you! where guests are coming here to POST things. from their heads on my blog because they love me, they really love me (i assume)! i warned you it would happen.

what to say about my next guest of honor? gabby, gabby, gabs! she's so cute and nice and adorable aaaaand she might, OR MIGHT NOT, have written me an hilarious email regarding this VERY post that was the funniest thing ever. and made me fall in love all over again. like, back in the good ol' days!

for realsies! she's, like so very lovely! she likes to cook and drinka the wine-a! meee too! she likes the doggies! meeee tooo! we're like the same person if i had a twin and lived in LA and MY sister weren't a whore! and now i give you the best gabby ever, GABBY!

As we all know, our Becky is an animal lover.

I am too, didja know that?

I have a dog (I actually wrote dong first on accident and I do not know why) named Bella. She is the most amazing, lovely creature ever. Truly, she is. She's just a lil charmer! Truly.


Like for example, if she likes you she will want to lick your face off, repeatedly. Who doesn't like that? She also will always bring a toy to the door when you walk in, providing you're not a stranger or a man or the FedEx man or have cats at home that she can smell. She is such a little lover!

This is getting difficult to write because I just have so many charming memories of the little lady! I'm like a proud mama. I especially like when I'm holding her (yes, she is a little dog, no, I don't carry her in my purse) and babies or elderly people come over to say hi. She is just so delightful and will be as still as a rock...until they are 6 inches away and she FREAKS THE FUCK OUT. It is terrifying, and I have the scratches to prove it. Love marks! Like a hickie from Kenickie but without the pregnancy scare.

Another fond memory happened not too long ago. My unbeweavable sister and I had to take the princess to the vet. She wasn't at her best though, because 1. There were men, 2. There were cats, and 3. It was early Saturday morning and she likes her beauty sleep (or I do, whatever). Anyways, she got through most of the visit like the little champ she is....until it was time for something I had read a lot about on Becky's blog. Anal gland expression? Anyone familiar with that? Yes?

Luckily, at least at my vet's, this happens behind closed doors. It's not like you're there holding your pets hand. Thank baby Jesus, right? So anyways, Ms. B comes slinking out with evil in her eyes and her tail between her legs. Liz and I tried to be appropriately comforting, but she was paying for the shindig and I was busy staring at the world's largest cat. We can finally leave and Bella is so happy to be out of there. We all were...until we got to my sister's car and I realized that I'd have to hold Ms. B on my lap. And sister and I, we are not Girl Scout's. We (she) is unbeweavable, but we were also unprepared for um...anal leakage.

The point of the story is that I had to hold my delightful, charming dog for about 20 minutes as she shat all over my favorite jeans.

I knew this story would be just perfect for a guest post...and I was clearly right! Here's to hoping Becky is having a magical time in Montana! And stop by my corner of the internets sometime. I never talk about anal gland expression there. (no seriously, I don't.)