i have a sewi-us pwoblem

i don't know if i've told you, i tell you a lot of things, but i work with the animals. i poke them with sharp objects and take their bodily fluids from them. i have to stick my fingers in their- what? you don't want to know that? oh, well, point is, animals.

and if you couldn't tell, i love animals. i want them all. with an innocent, childlike awe i dissolve into goo at the mere sight of most of them (not a huuge fan of smelly rodents. hate easy to be squished buggies). puppies? i pick them up and make them make silly sounds and hold them upside down and hold them very still and kiss them all over their heads and sometimes i even kiss their eyeballs (by accident).

i loooooove puppies.

kitties? i kiss them too but kitten essence makes my lips get all tingly and twitchy and it looks like i've applied that weird lipstick/chap stick that makes your lips all red and poofy. works before dates as well. i've always wanted a hairless cat because they're awesome and don't have hair and they are like the dog of cats. so then, shouldn't i get another dog? well, i love the hairless aspect, that's probably my fav part. oh, so i should get a hairless dog! i want a hairless dog.

my friend, the hairless cat (above. open your frickin eyes! are there any other hairless cats? no!). i work with some pretty cool cats (ha! cats, get it?). i like the grey ones.

but really? i want another bird! i had a cockatiel named natalie. i know, i'm such a great namer of things. birds, for some very obvious reasons (i'm a sexy-sex-awesomepanties-pants guy) love me. natalie was a silly little birdy. we cuddled, we kissied, we were in love. and then she died.

a few years ago, i got the chance to own a cockaTOO but i did not have the room. he was supposed to be a "perch bird" at the fort worth zoo. instead he was a "hop off the perch and follow people around the zoo bird" and he needed a new home. soooo, some guy adopted him and loved him, then he died and his wife was like, "meh, i don't want him." and finally i got wind of it and found him a home. he really, really, really loved me from the very beginning. here we are being happy:

i had to enhance this picture because it was a shitty picture. you get the... picture.

my next conquest will be a bird. when we get a house, chuck has given me the green light for an african grey parrot. they are so cool. i want to name him a cute boy name and we will be happy forever and ever. till death do us part. i'll probably die first though, who knows. i'll be sure to make my progeny take care of him.

and that's the time. you all found out. i'm a crazy animal lady. with only two three dogs.

ps i'm going on vacation sooooon! and it will be awesome! but you will not be forsaken! and you WILL be entertained! while i'm gone! on my vacation! and there will be another post before i leave (ON MY VACATION!) to tell you about MY VACATION!

VACATION!