weeeeeeeeeeeeee! (tmit)

i am going on vacation soon and the next two week's TMITs will be brought to you by two very special ladies who are special and ladies (i won't ruin the surprise). i mention this to ease you in slowly. i don't want anyone to be like, "we were NEVER told you were going on vaCAtion!" and then have some sort of breakdown.

in honor of my impending doom vacation, i thought i would regale you with a tale from one of my youthful vacations. when i was one year old, my grandparents bought a house in jamaica. it's like the best thing ever.* we headed down there every year, even missing school for a few weeks. ah, to be young.

needless to say, we had loots of foon. we frolicked, we swam, we spent quality time together. we played a helluva lotta backgammon. it was totally rad. my brotha, my sista, my motha and fatha. oh, and my grandma. bleck. and of course the grandpa! we love him.

our most favoritest thing to do was to check out the tide pools. we would spend hours in the little pools looking for bright little fish who were stuck. we would catch them in buckets and let them go and catch them... you get the idea. my grandpa was always willing to walk with us, to watch us at the tide pools and to make silly jokes.

one day, we were walking along the beach, searching for my long lost ... can't remember the name- koosh ball!!! you remember koosh balls? god, i was so cool. anywho, kooshball was lost and we were combing the beach looking for it. combing and combing. and also combing.

that's when it happened: i peed on my leg. aaall over my leg while my grandpa yelled, "pee on your foot!" really loudly! reeeeaaally loudly. it's hard to pee while being yelled at by one of your favorite people in the world. why would he do that, you ask? i'm sure you've already figured it out. i stepped on the koosh ball. and koosh venom is toxic. didn't you know?

i'm just funnin, it was a frakin sea urchin. the vile urchin of death. the only way to prevent CERTAIN DEATH from an urchin bite!** is pee. i know, i know, to a veteran pee-er like myself, this should be nothing. it should barely register on the scale of one to ten.

pee on my leg, you say? no problem. done. what's next?

but this was traumatic and life altering. my grandpa was YELLING at me! i don't do well with YELLING. just ask chuck. or my father. yeah, ask my father. that's who would know. his middle name is yell. moving on. the YELLING! "PEE ON YOUR LEG, BECKY! DOOOO IT!" i did it but i wasn't happy about it. i didn't speak with him for like fifteen minutes. that's how angry i was. don't mess with me, man. i'm gansta.

and that's the time. becky peed. on her leg. on purpose.

*for reals
**pleased to be advised: sea urchins don't bite to insert venom. so we're clear.

ps please refrain from checking out my four year old bathing suited bod. fanks! (i'm bringing back fanks. in case you didn't know. and if you don't know, it's clear that you haven't been following my tweets. they're very important, my tweets. so, i'd get on that. (twss))

UPDATE: for canadians* who did not have koosh ballz. or maybe they did and i'm just old. probably the first one. did you know that they didn't have g.i. joe either? it's true. poor, poor, courteous canadians.

*veggie

UPDATE: for people named nikki!* i was NOT one! i was at least, i don't know, six? i think? able to pee on command. score! for me! and my urethra! i have a urethra of STEEL!

*nikki

you can blame this altogether to much information and the lovely talented lilu and read some other biz here (where they aaaaall are for you! from the lilu)