eHow to get rid of a migraine

how to describe a migraine.... migraines are like if angels were drilling a hole into your brain for hours on end. see what i did there? i think that's what the kids are calling an allegory ... ? wait! no! a smiley face? ... noooo, how's about alliteration? i don't really know. it's one-a those things that "good" writers do to make you all like, "wow. becky is a good writer because she just used a puggle device in one of her sentences. that is one great literary thingy that she just utilized. i am IMpressed. a lot." which, in turn will make me go, "i know. i am so becktastical it's really almost too much for most 'normal' people to grasp all i gots going on."

why can i never stay on topic? gee darnit! guess what else? my sister got migraines for the first time in her life at 20ish and my mother took her to get a cat scan. a cat fucking scan. i've had migraines since i was 12 and NOTHING! my mother's excuse? "you don't like doctors." AT TWELVE, MOTHER? TWELVE?

see? that last paragraph contained stuff about migraines! staying on topic five, becky! america! fuck yeah! i'm so good at staying on the topic of topics. speaking of which, i wrote a tweet about something fun. it contains jesus and christmas and ice cream at the same time. this is my way of saying, yes, i know xmas just happened but no, i don't feel like talking about it. so there....

but really, who wants to talk about how hilariously funny my tweets are? well, maybe in like five minutes because we're supposed to talking about migraines for cripes sake. um, migraines? this is my thing now? like i say i'm talking about migraines and then i just let my mind wander wherever completely disregarding my original intent? do you find this funny? is this what i've come to?

yes, because here's the video announcing the LUCKY winner of the contest! ooooooooooo. luckeeee.

um, just the one girl? calling number fifteen? email me your address and some money. oh, wait, no i'm sending you things. in conclusion, migraines are the fucking devil. helpful hint: orgasms totally either get rid of the migraine OR make you go to sleep and when you wake up, it'll be gone.

my friend, who also gets migraines was all like, "yeah ... i know ... but sometimes i don't wanna do the whole thing when my head is exploding." let me spell it out for you: masturbation, it's not just for ugly people anymore. not that i'm saying pretty people don't masturbate. um, hello? my name is becky and i have a vibrator. get one. do it now. funny coincidence? jag and i talked about naming vibrators one time. she was trying to name hers and i said chuck and i call mine "doctor johnson" because that's what it says on the side! *tying it all together five*

did you guys even see that? it really all fucking tied together. migraines to other stuff to winners to masturbation to migraines and BACK to the winner thing. i am the fucking mastermind of everything. you may bow down to my aaahhhhsomeness.

and yes, my dog choosing the winner video was tooootally inspired by the lovely becky of the becky club... BECKY!