exxxe mass

we are going on a lil trippy for the "holidays." it's to go see people. in chuck's family. and they don't live here, they live in another place. a place far, far away. we're gonna go waaaaaaaaaaay up on a plane. high, high up in the sky. and then we'll land the plane and be in a whole new place.

it's similar to MAGIC! because, i don't know about you, but i don't have wings that i can use to fly places. i don't even have any feathers. i know you're all shocked by this information and i might lose a few followers, however! being the ballsy kinda gal i am. i will admit it. I HAVE BALLZ! BUT I DON'T HAVE FEATHERS!

i also had to send eight days of food in boxes up there. eight. days. in flat rate boxes. they're effing heavy, man. i actually pulled a muscle in my neck while trying to get them from my apartment, to the car, out of the car, through the post office door and then i had to wait in line behind some very nice old man. WHO TOOK FOR FUCKING EVER! jesus christ.

THEEEEN i had to have chuck call his family and tell them i'm weird. AND DON'T EAT MY FOOD, BITCHES! except, i don't know if he said that last part. so, it's like a crap shoot if they get my package and are like, "fuck yeah! becky sent us food! let's eat the shit out of it! high five!" next there's high fives all around. while eating my foods.

good thing it's all crappy soup and bars. fuck, this is gonna be a fun trip. do you know how fun eating the same thing for eight days is? naw, it's fine. i like those bars. it's like a party in mouth part. an apple party! now with more nuts!

i do love nuts. that's what she said.

anywho, we'll be sleeping in chuck's dead grandmother's room again. funsies! last year she haunted us in there. uncool, dead grandmother. un. cool. let's not do that again. i am also super looking forward to hanging out with the step motha. she's just peaches. she makes me want to stab things. mostly her face. no, i'm just kidding. mabes a hand.

now i have paralyzing fear that she'll find this site and stab me first. oh, step mother. you're so pretty and lovely and here's nine dollars. why nine dollars? NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS! take what you're given and be grateful for it.

i'm so good with people. oh, dude. we went to my clinic's xmas party (ps no bonus. what the fuck?) and seriously? ugliest baby ever there. i'm not just saying that. the kid looked like the guy from the goonies as a baby. at one point, the dad was scratching his head and he totally went into a trance just like a chicken if you turn it upside down? is that what you do? who knows. scientists, that's who. chicken scientists.

the point i'm getting to here is that: happy holidays, bitches.

and as a final parting gift, i will host a fantabular GIVEAWAY! THE FIRST YET! it's gonna be becktastic! what do you have to do? you ask? well, you have to wait .... and then on sunday i will post it and it will be the ballz. then you will have all next week to enter and then i will send you that wonderful thing in the mail and it will be wonderful and you will want to sing about it from the tops of mountains. and you will all enter and make me happy while i'm in the great white north, far, far away from cowboy boots and truck balls. oh, truck balls, will you ever steer us wrong?