inside, internal, middle, bologna, lettuce, mayo-ayo-naise

this is my childhood doggie and candi... wearing BOOTS! eeeee!

inside jokes are for winners. making people say, "whaaaat the hell are you talking about?" is funsies. i mean, i'm not exclusionary but i love an inside joke. love it. chucky and i are full of them. we've lately been saying, "grapes" instead of a sarcastic "great." so we're like, "oooooh, grapes!" and then the other one will be like, "grapes," in that same tone of voice. we go back and forth saying our sarcastic grapes and then we end in laughter.

it's good fun for the whole family! banana hands. see? that's another one. chuck envious of my long slender fingers because he has short stubby ones. and now? after seeing avatar... he calls me avatar hands. and then eric said something about my eight year old hands and i was all like, "these people are crazy! my hands are just fine! STOP LOOKING AT MY HANDS! AAAAAA!"

there are also all sorts of scrubs related jokes that i say all the time and another scrubser will recognize and laugh with me about. chuck's tried to break me of the habit by saying things like, "you watch too much tv." this statement is patently untrue, i say. the thing i do? i just remember too much scrubs. there's no shame in that, people. my favorite part was when that one irish dude was on there (guest star) and he told carla her hair was curly and then she started to make out with him and then turk said "baby!" and then carla said, "but he said my hair was curly" and then the irish dude said, "'tis curly" and then she goes back to kissing him. see that? if you don't watch scrubs you're probably dead or shaking your head in a snooty and uncool way that suggests i might be uncool but you would be wrong because i am so cool i don't even know what to do with myself some days.

we have family inside jokes. i think we all do. many are cropping up around the memory of my aunt. she said some illogical funny things while that brain tumor was in there mucking around. this tale is according to my mother, they were taking the dogs on a walk and my mother ripped a toot. she claims it was a tiny, ladylike toot but it was obviously audable because my aunt said, "that was a nice bullet point!" and now? now we call toots bullet points at every opportunity. the best thing to come out of a brain tumor is that sentence. love it.

i love knowing people. knowing what's going to make them laugh. my favorite thing in the world is to say something and watch the reaction. i love to see the smile slide accross someone's face. it's like my cocaine. i'll admit that sometimes i go too far and people get angry but i'd rather go too far than not have the chance to see the smile. i go too far out of LOVE and really, how are you going penalize me for that? you aren't, that's how.

"Bidet to you sir."


ps my "o" isn't working and it's like totally pissing me off. or "ff" because right then? the effin thing didn't work at all. bastard.

pps i have, in my possession, a video that contains me snorting because my dog SOMEHOW got cream cheese icing dripped on her nose and when i turned around she didn't quite know what to do about it. it is the best thing that has ever happened to the  american people. ever. i might be able to post it this weekend. if i don't die between now and then.