let's get funky (or not)(i mean, i could make other plans if you're not into it)(whatever)(i'll just wait for you to call) *holds breath* *turns blue*

funk. funkity funk funk. i've been in one. for clarification: a funk. not really a fan of the funk. don't really appreciate the funkness that's been happening all up in this bitch (me). have you noticed? have you been pining away for my wittery? (i just made that up by misspellation) (another awesome misspelling) (or as i like to call them: new words).

i'm having a wordless wednesday every day. except with no pictures either. none except for more of my dog. my dog who can't even feed her damn self is all over the internet. my dog has her own twitter, that's how funked i am when i think twittering as my dog will cheer me up. it didn't for more than a minute. ok, well sometimes it does just because she's so cute.

you know what else i thought about? if i become president some nosey person's going to find this blog and be all, "do we really want a president who speaks so much about her vagina? is that what this country stands for? vagina?" and then the people will be all, "no." and that will be that. i'm so sad that i'll never achieve my goal of being president because of my vagina. which is probably true anyway, right? ZING! take that liberal media. i mean... somethingsomething.

2+2=vagina via owo

now, we've tried this before *coughformspringcough* but i wanted to do an audience participation thingy. what do you guys think? i'm thinking with one of my cool boxes of fun prizes that i do. no, not my vagina. geez... you can ask chiefy if she liked hers or jag if she liked hers because i think both of them did and chiefy didn't even like do anything to deserve getting my box of fun except being super cute and cool and awesome and in need of a box of fun (which she is) (i mean cute and cool) (obviously). oo! and i also sent a box o' fun to lilmissbutterbeans. so, there's that.

so, what do you have to do to get in my box*? well, i'm glad you asked. all you have to do is to be my muse. throw up some ideas (please do not actually vomit), get some juices flowing, give me a fool proof post i can post. ideas: ask me a few burning questions. request a certain post you love. tell me how cool i am (this one would not count because then i'd be all, "i know, right?" and that, my friends, is not really a post there is it, smart guy? (no it's not)). i'll try to announce tha winnah next monday. so, hurry up.

ps i'm not going to judge the winner, i'm going to randomly choose a winner and then i'm going to take all your ideas and use the hell outta them. i *might* even give you credit because i'm cool like that, yo.

pps follow me fer another. twitter me fer anotha. send me seventy dollahs fer one more.

ppps not really about the 70 bucks. because that's ... illegal? i dunno. just don't do it.

 

*once again, not a euphemism for my vagina