Wednesday, July 7

dancing with my se-elf! (i'm not really sure what exactly happened) (don't worry, everyone's ok)

dear snobby song guy (chuck),
yes, i *do* like blink 182. they could totally kick your ass.
love (reluctantly),
becky

dear blink 182,
please don't get your feelings hurt.
love always and forever,
becky

dear becky,
you deserve a cookie for having awesome taste in music while you were in college.
love becky

dear becky,
i will reluctantly eat your cookie but only because you offered and because i wanted to use "reluctantly" again. i don't know why. anywho, i've already had a tiny grape for lunch so i'll have to force myself.
nomnomnom,
becky

dear becky,
please chew with your mouth closed. jeepers.
it's for your own good,
becky

dear becky,
listen, becky, i don't know who you think you are, but i'll chew how i damn well please. who says jeepers?
eyeroll,
becky

dear asshole,
this guy says jeepers because she's a classy lady and she only uses swears for *important* reasons, like traffic.... and snooty assholery.
fuck you,
becky

re: "dear asshole"
i don't think i'm dignifying that with an answer. *i'm* taking the high road. (your face is an asshole) (you also smell) (highroadhighroadhighroad)
signed,
becky (the better part of her) (whose road is *so* high that it's nearly unquestionable) (i meant that to be morally not, you know, like weed or anything)


disclaimer: i have not eaten a grape in several months. i had brisket salad for lunch. yes, brisket salad. you wanna fight about it? actually it wasn't technically a "brisket salad." i just had some leftover brisket and some lettuce and some kalamata olives and some artichoke hummus and i called it a salad. you know what? stop judging me. maybe that's what you could have for dinner.

not sent from my iphone. but i did get one. just so we're clear. and then i promptly locked my old phone somehow. now i need the puk code what ever the fuck that is. also, i'd like all my phone numbers back. iphones ruin EVERYTHING!

11 comments:

andygirl said...

I heart you in my heart

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

Love it ( and Blink 182 too)

Eric said...

Humming the melody to the ubiquitous 'All the Small Things'...

reluctantly

Nikki said...

Jeepers, that actually sounds like a really good salad. I hope you don't turn down blink 182 when you come to a stop light and your windows are down. You're better than that.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Two things: One, Becky is talking to herself and is clearly deeply insane.

Two, you posted this eight hours ago and it's only just showing up on my Reader NOW, which means either my Reader is slow as shit or it has a sanity filter. I feel the latter might be true.

Fizzgig said...

I think that asshole should post more often, she's a funny chap!

lustyreader said...

i was always more of a good charlotte fan, get it? ;)

PS: i didnt really like good charlotte, but i did like Lit. remember "Put it in a ziplock bag"? *nostalgic sigh* that was OUR song with my 10th grade boyfriend. because he wanted me to be his "secret girlfriend" so i agreed not to tell anyone at school. i was dumb.

mylittlebecky said...

andyg- at least somebody does :)

mmh- highfive for blink!

eric- yer damn right!

nikki- it was good. my windows are never down. i have the kind you actually have to roll and if you roll down one then you have to roll down at least two or my poor wittle ears hurt. i know, it's fascinating.

veggie- goddamn google reader. becky is always insane. becky knows.

lusty- oh you and your punniness. i dunno... secrets are *always* fun.

otherworldlyone said...

blink 182 - agreed!

hummus - blech.

you - *wink*

tattytiara said...

I want a fucking cookie.

steff said...

dear becky,
you are the becki-est. i mean that in the best way possible. and i mean that in the way that there IS no way for that to mean anything other than awesome because becky EQUALS awesome. get it? phew!
love,
not becky but totally wishes she WAS bc becky's are the beckiest (see above) and that's a club i wish i had a membership for.