Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life. (go here for the rest of the days)
i did a beckit list, assholes! doesn't that count?
i want to own a farm. a small farm with goats or sheep and a garden and horses and maybe a cow and definitely pants (et al.).
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
mostly people dying is something i hope i never have to deal with, anyone in my life dying. you and you and you and pants (et all) and chuck and my mother and my brother and.... i guessmysisterandfather. meh. just no dying around me, k? i tell that to the dogs and chuck ALL the time. NO DYING! i'll say and the dog will be all, *blink* *blink* *lowers head* *rolls over* *jumps back up* *wags tail* *wags tail more slowly until coming to a complete stop* *squinty eyes* *nudges hand* *nudges hand again* *tilts head to side*
it's like i'm a dog whisperer.
i hope i never have to work a job i absolutely hate, hate, hate.
i hope i never have to lose a finger nail (ew).
i hope i never have to shave my legs again (i'm hoping real hard).
i hope i never have to break somebody's heart.
i hope i never break my iphone again (oh, sally sioux,* please be careful around marble tables, you know what happened last time).
i hope i'm never unaware of my bad breath (tellll me!)
i hope i never sneeze sugar snap peas all over the window i sit next to at work and let a little pee slip out at the same time (again).
i hope i never pick my nose so hard that i pick myself into next week (that's never happened to me) ( i just heard about this one guy) (who did that).
i hope, if i have kids i don't mess them up too much. just enough to build character. perhaps a cool scar or two.
i hope i never have to actually kill someone because they did something that i said i would have to kill them for but they didn't listen to what i said but then i have to do it because i'm a lady of her word and therefore might have to kill you if you eat salad with your dinner fork because then when will you ever learn? when?
*sally sioux is my phone's name. just so we're clear.
8 comments:
You are ridiculous and lovely.
Lady, you slay me!!! Too funny. I hope I never lose a fingernail either. That would fucking hurt.
Sooooo what I'm hearing isssss...you don't shave your legs? I'm so confused. Like, you're a sasquach down there? Or your legs don't grow hair? What? Whaaaaat? I just shaved mine an hour ago and they could use a good trimming already.
I'm currently growing my fingernails out for the first time in 12 years. That's how long I've been biting them. I'm a week clean.
I want a farm too. when you get one, let me move into your barn or something! ill bring the ducks and chickens, and oodles of kittehs!!!!
I feel guilty about telling my dog she cant die. she is almost 15, and really, i should put her out of her misery. but I cant. Im too selfish. I say "you are going to live forever"
Is your iphone cherokee?
I actually hope you do sneeze snap peas and pee your pants a little. But only a little.
I hope you never have to kill someone either, but if you do, I'll testify on your behalf.
It's best to have pants around the farm. Oh, you meant you guys' dog!!!
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