Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
moving. moving, moving, moving. we moved from italy to california, from california to texas and i lost a lot of friends along the way. moving sucks but also doesn't suck but also does suck when you move from california to texas. it's hard to keep up long distance relationships when you're nine. and when you're 28 and you find your best california friend on facebook and he doesn't respond? that's hard too. c'est la vie.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
everyone i've let go, deserved it. and they can go fuck themselves. there. i said it.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
jesus christ. um. yuck. my flowery vocabulary?
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
my ladylike carriage.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
dear garden state, you saved me on repeat, repeat, repeat. i still get sad when i listen to it but at the time it was the only reason i could drive in the car or go to sleep without having a panic attack. love, becky
Day 14 → A hero who has let you down.
your my mom,
when i moved in with chuck, i got the sinking sensation (about 6 months after i left and the hormones settled a wee bit) that my mother was angry with me. it took me a while to figure out, but when i did, it shocked me. she would say things about marriage and "the rest of my life" and "no you can't have your mattress because i bought it for you." in short, she thought she'd lost me. we probably had a slight unhealthy connection for most of my life and when i broke free, she was worried and angry at the same time. we are now able to be friends again and i love it. there are almost no guilt trips or anger involved in our relationship. we can again appreciate each other as people instead of just mother and daughter. love you mom.
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
chuck. we almost were "just friends" and then i called him again. and then. well, you know.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
can i say gluten? is that lame? i've lived without gluten completely for about a year. i hope to do it forever or until they come up with some sort of sciencey dealy to fix mah belleh. i could go on and on about gluten but i won't because you probably don't want to hear about it. in conclusion, fuck gluten.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
i cannot pinpoint a certain book that changed me but reading changes me. every book i've ever read has added and changed my thoughts and views. they have all broadened my horizons and taught me to think.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
i say, gay it up, gay people. what the fuck do i care? if i was in love with chucktina, i certainly would marry the shit outta her. she wouldn't even know what to do because i would be all, listen up, chucktina, i will marry you and YOU WILL HAVE MY BABY! we would be a lovely couple.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
i'll stick with religion because people really don't care about that, right? hmmmm, you guys are really putting everyone through the fire on these. dear dumbledore, please don't let chuck's mother ever reads this because she might try to steal him back and re-brain wash him. love, becky
i, becky, do not believe in god(s).
i remember being in school at a very early age and my teacher was talking about the absolutely stupid indians (native americans) who believed in, get this, gods for rain and gods for sun and gods for corn and gods for everything. can you even believe that? i mean, that's the stupidest thing i've ever heard. thooooose indians and their completely naive, silly and antiquated beliefs. what a bunch of assholes, her laugh seemed to suggest. there i was thinking about allll these people around me who believed in one god. in the sky, paying attention to the outcome football games.
living in texas for ohhhh, alotta years (cough20coughcough), i've definitely had numerous encounters of the religious kind. there were "parties" in our area with pizza! and games! and cool friends! and ... secret baptizing of children who didn't know what was going on. i've had friends who"saved local indians" on the weekends. i've been to numerous churches and been prayed for when i didn't come back. i even had a therapist in high school, while discussing my non-religion, tell me i could say i'm not religious, i'm "christian" because of course i believe in god, right? that's all that means, you believe in god, you believe in god, right? ummmmmmmmm. sure?
in college, my freshman roommate who was also my brother's girlfriend, and i were walking to class one day. we had to split off from each other and go different ways at one point. so i said, "i'll see YOU in HELL!" to her as we were parting. and that's the story. of the time. that becky left a poor girl standing in front of library. with a dozen witnesses to her utter puzzlement and yes, i'm pretty sure, awe of my complete pwnage.
in conclusion! i am very tolerant of any set of beliefs. i don't try to change people i know into non-believers. in fact, i'm pretty sure chuck has some beliefs rooted in his upbringing that we've never exactly hashed out, if you will. i'm not offended by people who believe. i hope that i haven't offended anyone with my silly post. i guess i mostly think it's funny. either way. everything's funny, right? "everything's funny until somebody loses an eye while having their liver eaten by vultures in hell, becky." (see you there).