in conclusion

(go here for the rest of the days)

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.

do 'em, don't do 'em. what do i care? just don't hurt anyone in the process.

Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

 what the hell? of course you go to the hospital. don't be an asshole. who wouldn't do anything to help their best friend? if you answered the other way, feel free to tell me so i can make a list of people who i don't want to be best friends with. anyone?

t
he only reason i wouldn't go would be if my best friend killed one of my family members and THEN got in a car accident but generally i'm not best friends with murders. unless one of my family members was going to murder *them* and they were just defending themselves because really, you have to sometimes murder people before they murder you, ya know? however, if my best friend was trying to blackmail my family member and it was like one of those situations where you just need to murder someone because they just won't just up unless they're murdered and they were trying to murder my best friend but then my best friend murdered them instead and THEN got in a car accident... i need a best friend to really suss out the details.

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

i wish i hadn't gone to college right out of high school. OR i wish i had gone far, far away for college. i had basically had it with school at that point. straight As? yup. burnout? big time. i was so very bored with school and college was not some sort of exciting new place (as my mother claimed) to learn new stuff, it was boring as well. i was going to school twenty minutes from my parent's house and would go home every weekend. if i didn't go home i would hide my room. sometimes somebody would drag me out to do something but i was pretty depressed and pretty scared of underage drinking. it was a control thing. now, thinking about going back and finishing another degree becomes a physical weight on my chest.

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.

i wish somehow, as a third grader, i had been able to stay in california when my entire family moved to texas.

Day 24 → Make a play list to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

fuck this one.

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

i breathe and shit. (literally) (get it?) (right?) (i know).

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why? i think i already answered this one.

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

my hair is totally awesome. i'm finally using just baking soda, vinegar and occasionally, castile soap. i love it.

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

i would carry the baby for a really long fucking time in my uterus and then i would squeeze it out of my vagina and then i would feed it with my nipple juices for a really fucking long time. if i got someone else pregnant i would go on oprah and we would be famous. are you trying to tell me something?

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

i would love to be less anxious. about everything. because it sucks. 

Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

dear becky,

jesus christ. you are awesome. you are the light of my life. you are the reason i get up in the morning and reason i have fucked up but totally cool dreams while i sleep.

you, becky, are the reason i eat yogurt in the morning, and the reason my bowels work properly. you are the reason i eat my fibery shake as well in the morning which also contributes to the awesomeness of your totally revamped intestinal tract.

becky, i also want to thank you for being handy with a vibrator. you and me? we are so compatible, sexually. it's like a dream come true. i never thought i'd find someone who could do the things you do but i did and it's you and i love it. will you marry me?

i love that you are so awesome in your awesome, awesomeness and that you are so awesome.

and finally, i'd just like to say to you, becky, that you totally kicked ass at this thirty days of truth thing and while you kinda smooshed some together, it was totally still awesome. and while, at one point you thought of not going on, you really powered through in a totally rad and classy way. and while, at one point, you rued the day you ever started this malarkey, you really, maybe kinda did learn something right at the beginning while you were kinda still engaged with the process and not contemplating setting the entire 30 days on fire.

love,
becky