i'm glad i have you. yes, you, there, in the hat? and you, the one with the boogers. and you, the one who tells the funniest stories. and YOU the one i always @ on twitter but you never @ back, stop that! @ me, god damn you! and you, the one who tells me my new hair cut is super cute even though it looks exactly the same. and you, the one who texts me texts about stuff. and even you, my creepy twitter friend with the wildly inappropriate DMs that i pretend i never got about my boobs (stop doing that). also, you, my gchat pal who always knows the answers to the questions. but mostly, all of you.
i can always count on internet to think i'm funny, to answer my emails, to tell me to stop calling my sister a whore, to call my sister an extra, super whore, to always be there. i think about the friends i have, the friends who have deleted me off facebook because they were "cleaning their feed" or because their husband feels uncomfortable with me or because we don't work together anymore. these are real people who've looked in my eyes, told me secrets, kept some of mine. i know that life gets in the way and the internet isn't perfect. i have way more internet friends than friends who i've been close enough to punch in face (that's my new code for IRL) (sounds better, right?) which ups the odds of somebody responding to me, but my punch-in-the-face friends (PINFFs) never really "get" me.* i sometimes say things like, "yeah.... it was funny if you were there," a lot while in conversation with PINFFs. or sometimes, i'll just say things to myself like, "nobody gets your funny, becky but you are funny, don't you worry." *pats becky's shoulder, reassuringly*
for instance, i told somebody to write down that i administered a medication UTB the other day and she actually wrote UTB on a chart which is marvelous but wholly pretend and totally misses the point, that UTB means up the butt (according to yours truly). she saw me give it rectally and yet, she still just wrote UTB and didn't even laugh or anything. if you have to explain UTB to somebody it totally ruins the point unless they're like, "UT- waaaaait a minute. what's that? up the- what?" and then i would get to wear my mischievous smile while they were figuring it out. i love dusting off my mischievous smile. i'm doing it right now.
that's why i love to give you presents and love getting presents from you. in that spirit, i received a gift from a becky who is the beckiest becky i've ever beckied and it lends itself to photography. therefore, i wanted to give all of you guys, my guyses, a few silly pictures that i know you'll get. gettit?
*i'm excluding chuck from this because he totally gets me. if by "gets me" you mean, sex and i don't because i really mean, funny. (but also sex)
11 comments:
First, I think you're funny. And completely hot.
Second, Beckys apparently give the best presents because the care package I got from you, and the one I got from the other Becky, well...SO FUCKING AWESOME.
Third, I have those same glovelets! We should coordinate when we wear them/makeout on Twitter/dude,my fake lashes have PINK so we can be BGF1 and BGF2...like Thing1 and Thing2, but a lot sexier.
Fourth, on the whole internet relationship stuff: Word.
I was just thinking yesterday while on my dog walk, out of nowhere, "That Becky, she's so funny. She tweets the funniest things." and it's true. Sometimes I log onto twitter just to see what you've said, and then I throw a water balloon at my feed and I log right back out.
The gloves look smashing. The eyeshadow looks smashinger.
And whut thu hull. owo just called me other Becky. *throws laptop out the window, sets house on fire*
Oh wait. that's not eyeshadow, is it. It's the eyelashes. DId I send you those? Man. I do kinda rule, huh.
I thought it was eyeshadow. If those are lashes then that's a whole new ballgame.
Sports metaphor.
Fabulous eyelashes! Are those your something blue ;)
I would never erase you from my feed, we're that close. I do wish you would post more, but art can not be rushed true?
you know what? you really are the beckiest becky! Keep rockin!
woman, you're one of the funniest gals I know! in fact, after reading:
"i woke up recently, remembering a totally plausible and unexciting dream, with no multiple layers. this made me super angry at leonardo dicaprio."
and I guffawed. literally. it scared my cats. and then I almost didn't read more because it was funny all on its own. but I'm glad I read through. because you rock my socks.
plus those eyelashes? HACHACHA!
You like healing the animals and all that, but surely you've thought of having a comedy television show on tv? You. are that. good.
owo- i'm gonna take your face and squeeeeeze it so hard that you're gonna be all like, "whoa!" and then i'm gonna pretend like i'm gonna bite you, theeeen, i'm gonna move in for the kiss.
smuk- you. were. NOT! thank you for being so other becky. that's the only time that's gonna happen, eh? eyelashes, yes.
nova- EYELASHES!!! i'm in the ballgame.
nikki- awwwww, i'm just sucking lately with the posting. it seems so hard and workish.
andy- YAY! sometimes i get it right. some times.
eric- oh, i think about it all the time, i just did a comedy show in the shower the other day to a standing ovation. also, thank you.
lol you're adorable. and yes, funny. i stifle laughter at my desk on a regular basis because of your tweets
I get it. I say hilarious things ALL. THE. TIME. to the indignant Moms in the pick up line at school. They never get it.
Whores.
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