Just a warning, this is a long post!!
I woke up with excitement and fear. I spent all day cleaning and doing laundry. Your daddy came home at 5:00 and we started to clean the car and loaded your carseat. Daddy made dinner for Braxton and I and we ate, all excited because we knew it was our last meal as a family of three. Daddy headed back to work and I went and sat in your room one last time. I sat in the floor and touched each one of your onesies that I took such good care in folding. I touched the swing where I knew soon you would lay that sweet head. I knew you were special. I knew you were going to be great. I was so excited. I headed to jump in the shower and when I got out Hensley was there. She was staying with your big brother when Daddy and I headed to the hospital.
When Daddy got home at 11:00 we sat around and talked for a bit, and procrastinated actually getting ready to leave for the hospital. I knew it was going to be scary, and I knew I didnt want to leave that little 30 pound big brother behind. We packed our bag in about 10 minutes and headed out the door at 11:55–25 minutes after we were supposed to leave. You should know that now about us, we wait until the last minute for everything!
We got to the hospital right at 12:04. We headed into the emergency room and waited to be called to head up to the 2nd floor! We were so excited and giggling like two teenagers. Finally at 12:50 we were allowed to head on up to Labor and Delivery. We got our room number–213 and found out it was right across the hall from the room we were in when we had your brother. He was born in 211. Momma got in the gown and Daddy folded my clothes. He put them in the drawer and helped me get into bed. We laid there for almost an hour before the nurse came in and got us all hooked up. She hooked up the monitor so we could hear your heartbeat–154, just like all the times in the hospital. She checked my cervix–right at 2 and a half centimeters. They put this goopey stuff in to soften the cervix and she headed out the door. I remember your Daddy left during this part and went to get something to eat.
About 20 minutes later I called him crying, begging him to come back because I was in pain. I didnt want to take any drugs yet, but Daddy convinced me it was for the best. “Your going to have a long day tomorrow, we need to get you some sleep.” I accepted the pain medications and laid down. I got about 3 hours of sleep and was back up at 530 am. I watched the news for a little while and about 645 Dr Hamilton walked in the room. I remember him telling me I had to be at least at a 2 to have my water broken. Good thing I was there last night. However, we hadnt made any progress through the night so I figured it would be a couple hours before we were able to meet you. My water was broken at 7:02 am. I called your Oma and let her know I had my water broken and I was beginning to feel contractions. I remember needing to hang up the phone and I turned to Daddy and said “These contractions are only a minute apart…thats not normal is it?” Daddy was walking out the door to get our nurse when she walked in. She asked me how I was feeling and looked at the monitor. Her eyes got really big and she asked me how my pain was from 1-10. I told her it was about a 6 and I needed some sort of pain medication.
She told us she had to check me before she could order the epidural and that the anesthesiologist was about to head to a C-section so it would be a little bit before I could get one. She checked me and said “Oh my god, your already at a 5!” This was about 10 minutes after I had my water broken…when I was only at a 2.5! She ran out of the room to see if she could get a different anesthesiologist to come do my epidural. I yelled at Daddy to get your Oma on the phone and tell her to get to the hospital NOW. I also had him call your Pawpaw and Mawmaw and have them hurry! They had planned on getting there at around 10 or so since we assumed you wouldnt be here until lunch time. The anesthesiologist finally came in at 7:45 and started prepping me. I was having so many hard contractions at this point and in so much pain that I barely remember anything but trying to focus on breathing and begging God to please let me feel some relief.
They stuck me about 5 times trying to get the epidural in. I remember at 7:55 your Oma walked in the door and I felt this calm come over me. It was going to be ok! Your Daddy was right beside me and MY mom was on the other side of the bed reminding me to breathe and focus on that only! The nurse checked me during my epidural to make sure I wasnt already at a 10, but I was still at a 5. That was at 8:00. Every time I had a contraction I felt fluid rushing out. I tried to explain this to the nurse but I couldnt get any words out. Finally at 8:05 they got the epidural in. I just collapsed onto the bed on my side. The anesthesiologist kept yelling at me to get on my back so the medicine could work. At least, I think he was yelling, but Im sure it was a calm and reasonable voice. I remember feeling like I had to have a bowel movement, and I couldnt understand why. I looked at the nurse and asked if I could use the bathroom. She said I needed to lay on the bed and wait for the epidural to kick in and I said “But I need to poop!!” She got this look on her face and made me lie down on my back to check me. I remember looking at Daddy and he had this horror look on his face when he looked to see what she was doing. Apparently in the last 5 minutes I had jumped from a 5 to a 10.
The nurse yelled into the intercom that she needed Dr. Hamilton, Nursery, and setup for delivery stat. I kept having contractions and screaming through each one begging for my epidural to hurry up and work. I remember Dr Hamilton walking in and I said “Oh shit!” And he said “It feels like shit, but its actually a baby!” I had no idea that you were already almost out. Your head was already there and I hadnt even begun pushing yet. I looked at Daddy and said “I cant do this without my epidural!” And Daddy took my hand and said “Yes you can. Your strong and I love you. You can do this!” Oma and Daddy stayed right next to me while the nurses held my legs. I screamed and screamed and eventually pushed your little body out at 8:16 am. Exactly one hour and 14 minutes after they broke my water.
I remember they put you on top of me and you were purple. I only got to see the top of your head and nothing else. They had you at the warmer for a good 10 minutes. I kept begging to see you and they kept saying I would see you soon, just give them time. I knew something was wrong. They finally handed you to me and I wouldnt let go. I just kept kissing you and hugging you and telling you happy birthday. I was so excited you were finally here. When it all calmed down, my nurse had everyone leave and it was just the four of us. Me, Daddy, Oma, and you. The three of us could not get over how much you looked like your big brother. You were IDENTICAL except for your thunder thighs. Because BOY–you had big thighs. I kept saying I didnt think you were as big as he was. Then my nurse walked in and said I dont know if this is brusing or not. She went to get the NICU nurse and they whisked you away. Daddy followed and said he would go with you.
I thought everything was going to be fine and Id see you in an hour again. Well I didnt. Two nurses came in about 15 minutes later and said you had fluid in your lungs. They told me everything was going to be ok but you were hooked up to machines and it would be a while before I could see you. Four hours later and after we were both cleaned up a little I was wheeled into the NICU and saw my perfect little baby hooked up to monitors and told I was only able to look at you. I couldnt talk to you or hold you, because they didnt want you to get worked up. Baby boy, I wanted to grab you and run. I wanted to run as fast as I could and get you the hell out of there.
I hated seeing you all hooked up and so pitiful. You just looked so tiny and small. I remember the nurse telling me that it would be 7-10 days before we could take you home, and I broke down. I cried and cried and begged and pleaded. Please God, make my baby better. Theres nothing I wouldnt do to have that baby in my arms. I just want to hold him. Please let me hold him. I spent every hour on the hour with you that day. I would walk away and instantly want to head back in. I made myself promise I wouldnt hinder your recovery. I would only stay as long as you were calm and breathing properly. The minute you got excited Id drag myself away and wait in the room until I couldnt convince myself to stay away any longer.
At about 6 pm, everyone left. We had one more visitor and she left at about 730. Daddy and I ate and then decided to see you one more time before bed. We went in and looked at you in awe. We kissed you, held your hands, and told you we loved you. I went back to my room with a sense of peace. I knew you were going to be okay. I knew Id get you home eventually and the first time I held you was going to be special. I knew you knew I loved you. I took some pain medicine and went to sleep. And boy I dreamt of you the whole night. I love you. More on your Day 2 tomorrow. Love you big boy!