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i’m un-leaving-you-hanging

i wanted to update everyone because my last post happened then i kinda disappeared. here are some lovely bullet points for you to read… so, after several phone calls, emails and a couple of yelling phone calls, nothing…

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the dress: a never ending story

i’m going to do a wedding series, you guys. if that sounds boring and awful and why would i do such a thing? to you then i suggest you checkout now. in fact, why don’t you just save…

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i can’t even see straight

i will get back to the wedding posts, there will be pictures, i super promise but i’ve been de-railed and this is all i can think about. my niece was sexually assaulted in a high school corridor. i…

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sticks are very important for beach walks

i’m on vacation. you should send me an email to make me smile when i get back (my “vacation responder” might be on and it might be hilarious and you might get a surprise offer as well) (romeofoxtrotmike,…

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i’m back. well, actually, i’ve been back but not *air quotes* back.

As I survey my vast empire of beach glass, tiny shells, sand particles and weird hamburger nuts* before me, I realize I’m lucky to be alive in this time of plenty. I don’t remember if I told you,…

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this sounded better in my head.

i woke up recently, remembering a totally plausible and unexciting dream, with no multiple layers. this made me super angry at leonardo dicaprio. then i thought about how funny i am and who should i tell that i…

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grizzly bear, unicorn, rainbow

as you might be able to tell by now, i’ve gone completely and utterly insane. also, i got some new shiny cardboard. we bought sheets. if that doesn’t make sense, i’ll let you know that when you buy…

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would you like to donate $1 to help legless, orphaned albino elephants in ethiopia?

“no, i wouldn’t!” i always reply with a smile. my smile only falters when the uppity, self-righteous checkout lady gives me the death stare. in those few moments of silence, i can feel the judgement. i can see…

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this is the re-mix!!! *spins dope records on those spinny things*

i re-capped 2017 in my book* because, well, why the fuck not, amirite? no, but seriously, i wanted to kind of get a feel for the whole “shootin’ match.” (i’ve been watching too much anne burrell at lunch,…

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krusmuss

it’s such a magical time of year. i love “the holidays” and look forward to them. we did santa claus growing up. it was amazing. and we would always get our tree at the very last minute. one…

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