Last week I started a full-time job again. It’s at a place I have worked at on and off for about 7 years, so it’s not 100% new. It’s like, a legitimate job though. I wear nice clothes and brush my hair in the morning and have to keep getting work done even if I have a headache because my bed isn’t in the next room waiting for me to come in for a nap and I can’t just leave and go to the beach. It’s the opposite of the ridiculous behavior I adapted while working for myself over the last 4 years. I like it.
When the job was offered to me and I highly considered taking it, I felt like a failure for a minute because I left there to work for myself and here I am going back 4 years later. However, the truth is that this is huge progress for me. It’s huge progress to admit that I need something like this in my life and that I currently have no room for the lack of structure, illegitimate behavior, and constant fear of not getting paid that came with self-employment.
As much as I love creating a life where I can throw away the rules and social scripts that I despise, I need to get in a position where I can take care of things I’ve needed to take care of for years but have put off because of whatever the hell I was doing. So now I am enjoying the feeling of getting shit together and being a little structured. I’m into it and glad that I allowed myself to make this change.
So that’s where I’m at right now. I’m cool with it. Also, I have kittens. You probably already know this if you follow me anywhere on social media.
This is Juniper. Or maybe Tiger Lily, I can’t decide what to name her yet. I am grossly in love with her. We also have 2 other kittens at the moment and will be keeping one of them once we see who gets along the best. The other will go to a friend. They were rescued from under my uncle’s deck. MORE PHOTOS TO COME, DUH.
We’ve barely been engaged a month and I’m already bombarding Josh with cute furballs. He loves it.