A couple years ago, before Braxton, when Trey and I were just dating and nothing too serious, I thought I was living the dream. We spent money on ridiculous things–just because we could. We stayed out to late, and slept in all day (you know when we werent doing the school/work thing). Saturdays were spent in sweatpants watching movies all morning then out to a friends house in the afternoon. I seriously thought life couldnt get any better!
Then we found out we were pregnant. Im not going to lie–I was DEVESTATED when I first found out. Mind you, I was 19 and unmarried. And my family are devout Catholics. I was terrified to tell them, luckily they were supportive in our decision to keep our baby, remain unmarried for now, and raise this baby together. We didnt want a baby to be the reason we got married. Although we loved eachother a ridiculous amount–we wanted to wait until we were sure that was what we wanted. Luckily, it was! So anyways, when we found out we were pregnant I was upset. I kept thinking about how I was losing my life. I wasnt going to be the girl I knew for so long anymore. I was going to be MOMMY! GASP! It was terrifying.
Then that little 8 pund 12 ounce body was put in my arms, after almost losing him twice and losing his twin brother, and I can guarentee you–I knew at that moment Id just filled my love tank all the way full–for life! I was that mom that LOVED getting up in the middle of the night for feedings! I only had Trey get up with him every now and then when I really really needed sleep, but I always felt guilty. I loved the soft glow on his face from the tv while I was feeding him. I loved watching him bat his sweet long eyelashes at me. I wasnt one that complained at all. I was living the life!
Then he turned one on me. And those days were double the fun. I could take him places and watch him learn and discover. I could see his little eyes light up when he learned a new word or clap his hands when he did something funny. I watched him turn from my baby into a toddler and begin feeding himself, and doing EVERYTHING for himself. and yes, I cried! I though that was living the dream!
Now I have this two year old. Most days he is a terror as he pulls food out of my fridge, attacks the dog while shes sleeping, or stuffs toys down his air vent. But then he does this amazing thing–he says “momma- I love you” For real- the cutest thing in the world!! And on top of all of that I now have a little booger kicking the insides of me as if this is The Karate Kid. And Im married to their father for a year and a half. AND I live in this wonderful little house with absolutely amazing neighbors, and wonderful friends near by. I always think Im living the life–and then something else hits me. And I realize living the life is going to constantly change for me. Its about growing up and every new stage is going to bring wonders and frustrations. But Ive got this beautiful family of my [almost] three boys! WOOHOO!
LIFE IS GOOD, AND IM A SUPER MOM….most days.