Make Yourself Some Green Juice

Shortly after I purchased this juicer, which was inspired by watching “Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead,” I came across this article about the “juice wars” happening in New York and Los Angeles. Like, there is actual competition over which juice companies are the best at putting food in a juicer and serving it. There are endless arguments over cold-pressed juice versus, uh, hot pressed, I guess — and over who serves up the most enzymes and who will give you the best post-juice poops and who wastes the most plastic (ALL OF THEM) and who can cause me to roll my eyes into the back of my head the most.

What I do know is that getting a juicer and making it yourself is a really good idea because juice bars are crazy expensive. Like, even more than yuppie coffee places. They are essentially serving you expensive berry cucumber water and if you’re willing to deal with the picture above, you can save all your money and make your own green drank without having to read off whatever demeaning name they have listed on the menu.

If you’ve seen “Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead,” you may remember the scene where he goes to a juice bar in New York and each juice is listed as the ailment it’s supposed to help alleviate. I really don’t want to spend $7 on a glass of juice called “diarrhea helper.” IF YOU CAN WIPE YOUR OWN ASS, YOU CAN MAKE THAT SHIT YOURSELF.

My only problem with making juice is that I suck at following recipes and have yet to come up with a big variety that would keep me interested long enough for a cleanse. Most of the time I end up throwing whatever sounds good that day into the juicer and hoping for the best.

The end result is almost always a success but kind of similar to whatever I made before that I could’ve swore was totally different. All I know is that if you throw in a bunch of vegetables/leafy greens and 2-3 pieces of fruit or sugary root vegetables, chances are you’ll end up with something that tastes like a Paula Deen recipe. It shouldn’t be allowed to taste that good if it’s not topped with cheese.

Despite what I just said, I am going to share with you my favorite (read: only) green juice recipe. I like it in the morning because the citrus is a good waker-upper, it’s packed with vitamin C and A, and it makes my skin glow like a fairy. It also tastes good – not too sweet or earthy. You can follow it, or ignore it, or kind of use it. The world is your juicer. Get cray.

1 cucumber

1 small lemon

1 orange

2 large handfuls of spinach, or kale, or whatever you feel like

1 small piece of ginger

Half a tomato

2 carrots

1 apple – whatever kind you have on hand

Juice it, drink it, feel good.

In conclusion: Juicing is super awesome, even if it’s becoming some super pretentious East Coast/West Coast war. It will pump your body with vitamins and you might even find it gives you energy before going to the gym. You might start to eat better, too. I’m less likely to eat half a pizza when I’m full of juicy goodness.

Do you juice? Have any favorite recipes to share?

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About the Author: Becky