i’m back. well, actually, i’ve been back but not *air quotes* back.

As I survey my vast empire of beach glass, tiny shells, sand particles and weird hamburger nuts* before me, I realize I’m lucky to be alive in this time of plenty. I don’t remember if I told you,…

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this sounded better in my head.

i woke up recently, remembering a totally plausible and unexciting dream, with no multiple layers. this made me super angry at leonardo dicaprio. then i thought about how funny i am and who should i tell that i…

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grizzly bear, unicorn, rainbow

as you might be able to tell by now, i’ve gone completely and utterly insane. also, i got some new shiny cardboard. we bought sheets. if that doesn’t make sense, i’ll let you know that when you buy…

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would you like to donate $1 to help legless, orphaned albino elephants in ethiopia?

“no, i wouldn’t!” i always reply with a smile. my smile only falters when the uppity, self-righteous checkout lady gives me the death stare. in those few moments of silence, i can feel the judgement. i can see…

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this is the re-mix!!! *spins dope records on those spinny things*

No Picture

i re-capped 2017 in my book* because, well, why the fuck not, amirite? no, but seriously, i wanted to kind of get a feel for the whole “shootin’ match.” (i’ve been watching too much anne burrell at lunch,…

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krusmuss

it’s such a magical time of year. i love “the holidays” and look forward to them. we did santa claus growing up. it was amazing. and we would always get our tree at the very last minute. one…

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Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start writing!

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